Sucking face for show
 I found this image on Tom Paine's site and decided I was in the mood for a rant.Does anyone else find this sort of stuff annoying? The whole trendiness of heterowomen sucking each other's faces and pretending to bi-curiousness in order to titilate their male partners really pisses me off no end. If I kiss someone in a sexual manner, it's because I want to be with them. I am focused on them, regardless of their gender. I find this fad for pseudo-performative lesbianism really offensive for a number of reasons. For a start, it's usery - they don't really want to fuck each other, they just want to look attractive for a male. Secondly, what if one of them takes it more seriously than the other? Well, they're right up shit creek - because the whole thing was just for show. If some woman did this to me as a way to get her BF hot, I'd feel used and hurt. Finally, I just hate the idea of mock sexual intimacy. It reminds me of porn. Two people who, in any given situation might never find each other attractive enough to fuck, get together for the sake of a performance. The only difference being that porn stars do it for a living and get paid for it. I love women. I'd never use a woman as a prop to get a man. And I'd never use a man as a prop to get a woman, either. In fact, I'd never use anyone as a prop. It's just rude. |
posted by Remittance Girl at 3:22 PM
Comments on "Sucking face for show"
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Keziah Hill said ... (3:52 PM) :
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Nobilis said ... (11:22 PM) :
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remittance_girl said ... (12:31 AM) :
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janeway said ... (2:27 AM) :
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figleaf said ... (7:33 AM) :
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remittance_girl said ... (7:54 AM) :
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janeway said ... (10:22 AM) :
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Anonymous said ... (2:36 AM) :
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Jolie said ... (4:06 PM) :
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remittance_girl said ... (4:54 PM) :
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Soulless said ... (7:37 AM) :
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Anastasia said ... (6:31 PM) :
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remittance_girl said ... (6:59 PM) :
post a commentHmm. Can't see the image but agree with the sentiment.
I don't want to sound combative, but I want to point something out...
Does it do any harm to you when a woman makes out with another woman to get someone else hot? This isn't a rhetorical question.
Are there any things that you do, sexually, that other people might be opposed to on moral grounds? This also is not a rhetorical question.
Is anyone asking you to perform like this?
Nobilis,
I think it does humanity harm when people are used as props, instead of as human beings.
There are probably a lot of things I do sexually that the moral majority would be opposed to. And they have right to blog about it, too.
And, in answer to your last question, no one who knows me would ever dare ask. People have mistaken me for a lot of things, but never a performing seal.
Beyond this, if I was deep kissing some girl, in front of a male I was with, that would be a pretty broad hint to him that I've decided to fuck her, not him. It would be a pretty sure sign that I'd blown him off.
rg
I think some of this, and maybe a lot, is for the shock value as much as anything else. Sort of like "Jackass".
I'd say if they're doing it out of genuine curiosity or mutual dare-ya-to-eat-a-bug bonding with each other then it's fine. It's also fine if they're doing it in narrower circumstances to arouse themselves and each other before retiring with their respective partners.
In those circumstances then it's no weirder than, say, truth or dare, spin the bottle, or strip poker. (Which may or may not be weird.)
But yeah, if they're just doing it to show they're players or because they think it's the only way they can attract a partner (yeah, right) and they wouldn't consider it in other circumstances -- in other words, if they see it as necessary for dating or sexual "survival" -- then I agree it's creepy.
In general I'm inclined to lean heavily your way on this, RG. I asked about it on my blog a couple of months ago, whether party-kissing had any benefits or consequences for the women who do it. General consensus (among those who chose to answer) was less impact one way or the other than I'd have expected.
I still think it's an important issue because, like you, I think a lot of people (the new story, by the way, is men making out with other men to turn prospective women on) are putting themselves out on a limb instead of doing what genuinely turns their cranks.
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"It would be a pretty sure sign that I'd blown him off." Excellent reply.
Take care,
figleaf
Janeway:
God, if you're right, all I can say is... it's bloody passe. I believe the shock value in having women be openly sexually affectionate passed into norm sometime during the eighties. (God, that makes me feel old!)
Figleaf,
If people do it out of any of the first reasons you mention, I agree - of course it's fine. It's fine to stretch your horizons, and I heartily recommend kissing girls *grin*.
But if, as you say, they're just trying to show that they're players... or for the sake of publicity, I just think it's a bad way to treat human beings.
And ditto for men. I'm a dedicated voyeur, I've seen men kiss under very intimate circumstances. The idea of two men doing it to titilate me, instead of each other, turns my stomach.
Peer or societal pressure to behave in any way other than the way you're wired is, frankly, pretty disgusting. I thought we were passed that crap.
Nah, those women (at least the ones in the picture) aren't kissing for their own arousal or anyone else's. They're doing it for completely non sexual reasons. Whether it's 'hey look at me I'm a player' or 'hey, look at me, I'm bad' or 'hey, look at me, I'm soo hot', it's still 'hey, look at me'. Nevertheless - still the wrong reason to kiss someone.
RG: Glad your back and writing again. I missed you. People seem to do things that shock other people, what bullshit.
I will be anxious to hear about you Meeting Lisabet, and how that turned out. I hope you both had a very cold Sangha for me.
love
richard
I've kissed a woman to titillate a man. But we did it because we wanted to, not because the dickhead told us to. We women were on the same page when the kiss was over. And the man didn't get any pussy when we were done - so who had the power?
We were dick teasers that night. LOL
Say "hi" to Lisabet for me. She rocks!
Now, Jolie, that just makes you a mean old tease.
rg
To me, the picture looks like it was taken at some sort of drunken frat party or some such thing, which turns my stomach way before anything else.
Looking past that, they're just so damned young and I don't find that erotic either.
There could be a thousand circumstances that lead to that moment being photographed. I'm guessing that some people gave away power in that moment and some people took what wasn't theirs. Both are sad. So much "mainstream" porn is about taking, too.
Makes me think of the stupid "Girls Gone Wild" videos. What crap.
That said, if I was 22, yeah I probably would have said it was hot and defended everyone's right to do what everyone wants. They're just kids. They will see the wisdom of a different course of action soon enough.
As a voracious consumer of porn, a lot of stuff turns me on. Different things at different times. Sometimes I see through to the humanity of what's depicted. Other times I just want to get off.
I struggle with that. I know that porn is using people as props for my gratification.
Hi,
I actually find the common nature of these types of photographs equally annoying than the idea of doing something for a bloke, for free, just to turn him on. I think if the male equally returned the favor, all fine and well, but that's never been my experience, and I've reached double digits. It's always a suggestion for a three way, with another girl, and if a woman suggests a homoerotic escapade, they get antzy about it, and yet, a woman may not be bi or homosexual, and it's like an innate thing.
Personally I find the concept of lesbianism erotic, but I also question the reasons why I do, and a lot of my stimuli (over the years) is the porn from the past (a lot of comtemporary porn doesn't do it because the women look like their either need to enter rehab or artificial), but in my everyday life, nothing turns me off more than a butch women. It's my own personal preference but if I had to sleep with a butch female, I may as well sleep with a male, but that's beside the point, I think that one of the most obvious double standards in pornography is the way porn directors take advantage of the lesbo scene in a hetero film, like women innately switch both ways at the drop of a hat. This is further exploited by celebrities or wannabe celebrities who want attention (Madonna/Aguilera/Spears/Hilton) and a popularity boost, and then the ordinary woman has to cop the, 'why don't we have a threesome with another girl?' from her bloke.
Anyway, men that are interested in that type of quickie stimulation don't interest me, so these novelty lesbian images enable one to make a quick elimination.
Souless,
I don't have any problem with porn. The actors, the director, the lighting guy...they all get paid - so it is a contract between the viewer and the producers which is acceptable to all parties. Most of it doesn't turn me on, but that is a purely personal thing. I recently saw a little of the Tony Comstock stuff and I must admit, I thought it was pretty hot. At least people were clearly enjoying themselves and not making fake noises.
Anastasia,
Ohhh... I love butch women. I admit to getting very pissed off at some lesbians who are nastier, ruder and stupider than most red-necks I've met. But there's a certain type of butch woman that just does it for me - the severe ones. Oh...sigh.
rg