On Writing

Labels, Tribes and the Beauty of Singularities.

I cannot write you. I try and fail. I try, I fail and I’m a butcher. Me I’ve had some ongoing conversations, and I’ve offended some people recently, because I’ve refused the label ‘bisexual’. I want to take the opportunity to explain why and to acknowledge that for some people these words matter greatly, and…

Jouissance, Hard Limits & an Ass-covering culture.

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My story of yesterday generated a strange clutch of emails. I’ve written before about my ambivalent feelings on the subject of ‘safe’ BDSM, not simply because, on a very personal basis, desire and safety are almost mutually exclusive for me, but because I worry we live in a culture that constantly demands absolutes, assures us…

Trailing Wisps of Glory: Goodbye Ms. Angelou

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“I believe each of us comes from the Creator trailing wisps of glory.” I was very sad to read of Maya Angelou’s passing. I’m not a poet or African American or any kind of woman in the way I think she was, and yet she spoke to me. There are so few people in the…

On Writing, Authorship and Sacred Words

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Lisabet Sarai, a writer for whom I have deep admiration, just finished blogging at the ERWA Blog on her experience of revising her novel to suit a publisher’s imprint. ‘Negotiation‘ is a great post worth reading. Most especially if you want to see the process of writing oneself an absolution. I don’t say that cattily…

On Love

There is a kind of love that drags itself, gut-shot and with two broken legs towards death.  It has no pride, or shame, or sense of self. It refuses all other loyalties, all other promises and obligations. There is nothing pretty about this kind of love. It turns those of us who have felt it…

Fuck Decaf, or The Two Tribes of Perversion

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There are two tribes of perverts. Those who believe and those who don’t; real perverts and fake perverts. I contend today that the world is dominated by the fake ones. I’m not a wholehearted fan of the Yugoslavian philosopher, Slavoj Zizek, but he has proposed an interesting theory I embrace. He says that the world…

When Men Write Erotic Fiction

When men write erotic fiction (as opposed to porn, where the piece is devoid of conflict and usually sequence of physical events interspersed with banal and cliché phrases that are the memes that stand-in, ineloquently. for someone getting pleasure) they often try to protect themselves. Even work by seasoned writers who should know better, I…

Outed in the Nicest Way

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Some of you know my real name, some of you don’t. Today was a true milestone for me. One of my stories not only won an award, but has been published in a non-erotica anthology, and I appear there under my real name. The Trouble With Parallel Universes is the first anthology published under the…

Sand Though Our Fingers: The Right of Writing

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No other animal writes. It is, from a biological standpoint, a useless act. Ask anyone who writes why they write and they will tell you: they write because they must. It’s a compulsion. Even when it feels difficult – impossible to do – the desire to do it is there, even if we often leave…

Writing The Erotic Phenomenologically

You know how you’ll go for months, even years, without thinking about something and then you’ll stumble across it three times in a day? Yeah. One of the biggest problems with being a writer is language. Yes, it happens to be the tool we work with, too, but never the less, there is an aspect…