I’m another of those who has been guilty of reading with great enjoyment (Beautiful Losers is one of the best pieces of erotica I’ve ever read) but never commenting, and now seemed past time to start. I just wanted to say that even your description of your demon’s return is beautiful, terrifying, stunning writing — don’t worry too much about losing that gift, even temporarily. As oatmeal girl said, you have reminders all around of what you have in you.

Best wishes from a stranger grateful to have been welcomed into all that you share with us through your writing.

Take care, and be well.

Others have already spoken up – and I’m with them all the way. You are a brilliant writer and many’s the time I’ve read your work late at night, to alleviate the loneliness when hubby’s away. I’m constantly in awe of how you manage to get to the ‘heart’ of all our secret desires. Shocking erotica, playfulness and often with a fantastic wit, your writing ALWAYS makes me feel good – please remember this when you are feeling ‘not so good’ (trying to use positive phrases here ;o)

Look after you – do everything you want to be happy, we’re with you all the way.

*Big hug*

Here for you no matter what.

Thank you for all your lovely advice. I’m not a depressive, I’m bipolar. I have been for almost 25 years. The chemistry is really quite different. But thank you for commenting and the effort you put into it. Very kind of you.

I loved your description of “his” return, and you are a strong, strong person for keeping him away for a decade. If he’s coming back now, then it could be because you need to eat, chew, swallow and digest something in your life. Yes, sometimes the black dog tries to drag us down for no reason. But sometimes there is meaning in all the madness. Yes, it could be a decade long cycle. But I would wager that you have fought hard for your sanity and that it is no accident you have been well for so long.

Try to remember that looking after your whole self is infinitely more important than anything you might write. Your whole self needs attention in all areas. Plus, everything is creative fuel, right? I’ve never known a truly creative person who hasn’t taken every aspect of things in their life and used it to create something. This is rarely soothing in the moment of extreme pain, but helps to try and remember a little bit…

This site really helped me when I fell into the hole last year. http://www.clinical-depression.co.uk/learning_path.htm (I have no affiliation, just stumbled upon it when I was truly desperate, having no resources to get help from professionals). I’d let myself drop to beyond where light is visible, but somehow I got out, a millimetre at a time.

And not to be a negative nelly, but your own brain chemistry, hormones and physical makeup will have changed in the last decade so it might be dangerous for you to put too much faith in a drug you have previously taken. Like birth control, the effects seem to vary from person to person and from year to year. I’m not suggesting this as an alternative (how irresponsible and disrespectful) but I have found that Rescue Remedy can really take the edge off even the most alarming despair – provided I remember it exists in the dark moment.

I hope you feel better soon!

I’ve been delighting in your words for a few months now, and am sorry I haven’t left any reviews for all the delicious things on your site.

I’m sorry to hear about your relapse, and understand that it’s probably hard to access specialist care in Vietnam. However, with the wonders of the internet, perhaps you can search for evidence-based medicine reviews of treatment for your condition, and see if there are any new medications that you could suggest to your doctor.

I hope this is just a passing cloud for you. Take care, and thankyou.

i may not always comment, but i have grown quite fond of you through your writings, and admire your creativity and abilities a great deal.

There would definitely be a vacancy felt, in the loss of your presence, by being forced to dull your brilliance, but i certainly understand, being someone who has battled a familiar demon for most of my life – one, with which you describe with such precision.

It -is- in the genes, and sometimes it’s meds, or bust.

Having said that, my heart goes out to you, and i genuinely hope the burden that you carry lightens, so you can get back to being yourself and doing what you love.

Thank You for having shared so much of yourself with us.