Comments on: Sorry, it’s already been decided for you

By: Jake

Jake — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 12:16:10 +0000

Steel razors may not be the kink of my particular choice, but I’m totally with you on the “why no sex?” thing. For me, it’s a necessary part of the experience, and stopping short is highly unsatisfying. And frankly, even spectating at one of the parties you describe, I’d be left unsatisfied if the demo didn’t end is some sort of sex.

Well written and interesting post–thanks for sharing!

By: Remittance Girl

Remittance Girl — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 03:01:30 +0000

This is where I think we get into the kind of territory I talked about in the post I made after I, Sadist’s post. It’s why I am so loathe to use labels like ‘sadist’ and ‘masochist’ and I’m very careful when I do. Other than the fact that sadists are aroused by causing pain in others and that masochists are aroused by receiving it, any other generalization is, I think, dangerous to make. If sadists were not capable of some kind of empathy, then how could their kink work? You need to have some form empathy in order to understand what kind of pain your causing and get off on it. Also, it has been my experience that at some level, most Sadists are also masochists. I think it’s important to use language carefully. Empathy is a complicated thing and getting pleasure from someone’s pain does not by necessity preclude empathy at all. This is why the exchange is so hard to explain. There’s a very good book called the Science of Evil by Simon Baron Cohen which essentially paints out the pathology of the empathiless.

By: Monocle

Monocle — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 16:33:30 +0000

Yeah. I stand by what I wrote. Hurting someone for the sheer fact of hurting them, or being hurt for the sheer fact of being hurt? We’ve already taken pleasure or gratification of any kind out of the equation, so what’s left? It’s really not just anti- or a-social. It’s not just failure to make a bond or connection. It’s destruction for its own sake, emotionless.

One _could_ go so far as to say merciless sexual tease of BDSM without gratification during or after is almost as bad. That may be a little more contentious, since there is at least some exchange during the ‘play’, but the inability to go to what should be natural conclusions is a different kind of cruelty to all parties than sadism.

By: Shelby Cross

Shelby Cross — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 15:07:56 +0000

I see a difference between lack of empathy and total disregard. IMO, a sadist cannot be expected to feel empathy for the masochist; that goes against the dynamics of the relationship. But total disregard? That is irresponsible, and says something about the sadist/Top/Dom. So I guess I’m agreeing with you: a Top/Dom who shows disregard for the bottom/sub is something of a sociopath.

By: I_Sadist

I_Sadist — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:06:57 +0000

I suggest you read. Medical books, wound care, scar therapy prior to the picking up of any razors. Some things you simply don’t come back from.

By: I_Sadist

I_Sadist — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 04:04:03 +0000

Well, absent any empathy and/or disregard for your target’s misery, discomfort or pain is the very definition of being a sociopath. Would one go to such lengths as to forge a relationship only to subsequently break the other person down? absolutely. The world is full of crazies.

At least I’ve got a leash on my crazy.

By: Lady Grinning Soul

Lady Grinning Soul — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 13:30:50 +0000

I’m pretty sure the more I read on this topic, the kinkier I am going to get. I am way too open to suggestion.

Now where are the steel razors…… *looks around*

By: Remittance Girl

Remittance Girl — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 05:26:07 +0000

ohhh…yes… dirtying it up. mmm

By: Stabbity

Stabbity — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 03:07:58 +0000

Mmm, suits definitely do something for me, too. There’s just something about stripping that symbol of power off of someone, as well a perverse pleasure in taking something pristine and dirtying it up.

By: Shelby Cross

Shelby Cross — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 14:54:24 +0000

I think I would draw the line at calling it sociopathic. Hollow, maybe, in that any kind of short-term-fun sex can be seen as hollow. Lap dances, topless bars, and striptease shows can be seen as hollow. But I wouldn’t call it sociopathic.