I seldom post things on here that are not creative fiction. Usually, if it isn’t fiction, it focuses on writing, or the subject matter I deal with in my writing. But the new year approaches and I thought an exception to the rule was in order. I have some ideas for how I want the new year to pan out for me; things I want to achieve, things I’d like to change, ways I’d like to evolve.
I’m not taking anymore procrastinating shit from myself. I have taken a sabbatical off work for the spring semester and I am going to use it to finish and polish Beautiful Losers. I’m also going to try and finish off The Dinner Party. Also, having found that there is at least one brave soul in the world willing to publish the edgier things I write, I’ve pledged that I’m not going to do anymore self-censoring. I’m going to write what I want to write and take the consequences.
I’m making a resolution to spend less time on twitter. I love it, especially the hashtag games, but I find it is an easy way for me to put off writing. So, I’m going to try and cut it down. For those of you who follow me on twitter, that doesn’t mean that I won’t be there. It just means that I won’t be there quite as often, and I’m definitely going to stop spending the whole of my evenings on that infernal tool. I’m also not going to follow anymore people. 875 is enough. I miss the intimacy I had when my follow list was smaller. I miss my friends and the people who I know really do care for me.
The strange hollowness of this Christmas – the realization that I really had no one – hit me quite hard, emotionally. This is something I need to learn how to live with, to embrace it and realize that there is an immense freedom to this state of aloneness. I need to resign myself and train my heart to it.