Domination vs Oppression – the explicit version

I invited a number of Doms to write a post for my Order of Turbulence blog on why women’s reproductive rights mattered to them. One of the people I invited was @pissgums . He was kind enough to write a nice staid version of his stance here, on the political blog, and then he sent me another –  this one. More personal and visceral, and one that’s spoken to the body rather than the intellect. It deserves to be read.

When I wake you in the night with a slap on your ass, and give you the command, “Up, up!” and you raise your ass the air, and I kneel behind you and push my way into you and fuck you and tell you that you’re a good cumbucket and shoot another load into you …

When I reach for the rope and slowly, methodically tie you up, your arms behind you, awkwardly and uncomfortably, and I force your legs open despite your protestations, and torture you with my tongue, bringing you to the edge but refusing to give you permission to slide over … No, not yet … until my ‘Now’ sees you crash and fall into a slumber, despite your bindings …

When I knot my fingers into your hair and snarl the command in your ear, “It’s time,” and you take me into your mouth and focus all of your intelligence and wit and character on drawing another load from my balls into your beautiful mouth and down your throat …

When I ask, “Would you do the dishes, Love?” and you know that it’s not a question at all, but that it’s phrased like one because I’m raising my lads to be respectful and polite and considerate … and very good with ropes …

When I bend you over the bed and render your ass pink, then red, then purple with the paddle, the cane and the hurty thing, and you ask through your tears, “Why are you doing this?” and I answer, “Because it pleases me” …

When I use you like a jizzrag, when I use you like an overeager groupie, when I use you like a wadded up nothing that I found on the bottom of my shoe …

… In times like these, I wonder if Romney and Limbaugh and the gang are engaged in some sort of 24/7/365 TPE with the American people, if it’s cruel and capricious and non-reciprocal, and because of that it’s really hot. Maybe YOU didn’t vote to have your control over your own body taken away, but democracy is messy and inexact, and if it’s the will of the people generally, then it’s legitimate rape …

But you can whisper “Pineapple” through the wadded-up panties that I’ve stuffed in your mouth, and I’ll take my too-large hand out of your cunt, slowly and carefully, and I will hold you close and wipe away your tears and kiss you sweetly and bring you water. I will wrap myself around you while you sleep, and reassure you that I will protect you and keep you safe, and play won’t restart until I see that spark of craving in you again.

And it’s clear to me that a gang-rape, even if it’s the will of the neighbourhood, is not hot if the rapee doesn’t give particular consent. It’s clear to me that whatever pleasure Romney and Limbaugh and all take in giving the American people a thorough reaming, it’s an exchange of power with too much non-consensual non-consent to be legitimate. There is no escape hatch, no safeword that allows a woman to reclaim dominion over herself the instant she decides that it’s gone altogether too far. And that’s not hot.

And I cup my hand over your glorious breast while you sleep, and I pull your closer to me, and I listen to you breathe, and I kiss your back, and I love you dearly, deeply and ardently, and I think of the second categorical imperative of Kant, as I so often do. Never treat one another as a means to an end, but rather as an end withal. And when I use you, it is proximate service of my swollen balls, but more deeply it is to satisfy you and your cravings. Not the cravings that I project onto you, but the cravings that we discussed over eggs benedict that first day we met, in an empty restaurant … with that little blue and white length of rope in my pocket, that little length of rope that I tied around your wrist as we walked to the van, that has led to these years, these amazing years.

I am interested in male statements on why reproductive freedom and a woman’s right to choose, to consent matters. I think the kink community’s particular focus on consent is incredibly relevant to the political discussion of the state’s rights over a woman’s body. It’s not just a woman’s issue. If you’d like to contribute to the posts, please tweet me or email me.

  3 comments for “Domination vs Oppression – the explicit version

  1. October 20, 2012 at 9:54 pm

    I read the other version of this most on the political blog earlier today and thought it was excellent but this version goes way beyond that. The way you write about your D/s relationship is beautiful. The whole point of it is that it nurtures BOTH of you. It is based on mutual desires, wants and pleasures, it is mutually consensual. Not only does your sub consent to this but so do you. It takes BOTH parties to make the ‘dance’ work properly… Unlike the ‘Romney’s and Limbaugh’s’ of this world who want to play the music and have everyone ‘dance’ to the tune of their choosing.

    Mollyxxx

    Ps… THIS>> “When I knot my fingers into your hair and snarl the command in your ear, “It’s time,” and you take me into your mouth and focus all of your intelligence and wit and character on drawing another load from my balls into your beautiful mouth and down your throat …” >>> made the submissive in me growl and my mouth water in anticipation… if it wasn’t for the 2 kids currently doing their homework next to us I would have turned to him with a pleading face for some of this.

  2. October 22, 2012 at 2:09 pm

    “There is no escape hatch, no safeword that allows a woman to reclaim dominion over herself the instant she decides that it’s gone altogether too far. And that’s not hot.”

    This line – this is the essence of what is wrong with Romney and others who decide that they can take control… love this piece.

  3. October 26, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    This is really quite something to read. Thank you both for sharing it. I think it’s so important and relevant to hear not only a male perspective, but a perspective that deals with sex in such an explicit way and also engages with the important intellectual side too.

    Most definitely food for thought.

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