Julian hadn’t meant to do that. It was a tiny nick, to be sure, but the fact that it hadn’t been intentional, that he’d neglected to anticipate the girl’s state of panic, annoyed him.
It didn’t overshadow the esthetic pleasure of watching one viscous bead of blood, and then another, erupt from the tiny cut and wind their intersected way down the side of her hip, and disappear into the shadow of her curve. Nor did it overshadow the change in the girl’s behaviour. Before she’d been a blubbing, jumpy, frightened thing, but now she’d seen the blood, she lay trembling and acquiescent in his arms.
The intersection of terror and resignation is a sublime thing. Some people fought and fought, as if their life depended on it – although it never did, but how were they to know? Others resigned themselves to what they believed was their fate from the very beginning – a kind of suicidal apathy set in. Of course, he could have circumvented either of these occurrences by formalizing his fetishes and negotiating beforehand. But then he’d never have the pleasure of knowing just how much terror their individual hearts could hold. Instead he’d end up with a depressing selection of unapologetic masochists who, far from being distressed by the situation they found themselves in, would revel in it.
And what was the fun in that? No matter how much safer it would be to ‘play fair,’ it simply held no allure for Julian.
Although during his youth he had romanticized the possibility, in moments of mature clarity and reason, he knew there was no such thing as a compatible lover for him. There was no yin to his yang, no black to his white, no lock for his key. Beneath it all, what aroused Julian more than anything in the world was inversion. The negative. The denial. The refusal. He craved the ‘no’, the struggle, the tears, the terror, the outright rejection of whatever it was he wanted. Had he ever met a woman who was consistently and viscerally repelled by the colour red, he’d have been a happy man.
The best he could hope for was what he had in his arms at that moment. It was ironic that one of the most common ways people reacted to a threat was to attempt pacification of the other party. It was astonishing how much fear, distress and pain, a person would suffer if they felt that appeasement had a chance of success.
That is what Serena did. Despite her fear, despite the cut, her instincts told her to stay calm, bide her time, and do nothing to make him angry. Had she screamed the hotel roof off, he’d have apologized and let her go. Julian wasn’t interested in spending time in a jail cell. Had she reacted to the prospect of the knife play with arousal, he would have done the same.
It was her very inability to fight or enjoy it that pushed the blood into his core and straight up his cock.
Julian kissed her wet cheek, and then, with careful precision, kissed a spot midway down the pale exposure of her inner thigh with the tip of the knife.
“Now,” he said, letting a hint of naughtiness tint his voice, “what about here?”
From Part 3, this has felt a lot darker than what I’ve read of your work before. Probably because you’re so compelling in the head space of the characters, and the way it’s written just makes the tension hum. Very keen to see how it progresses.
I know this may sound silly, but I read this after reading The Veiled Girl with Lute and I kept thinking comparing Julian with Nathaniel. They could really be the same person, to be honest. Which isn’t a bad thing. Here in Tourist we see into the mindset, where as in The Veiled Girl with Lute we only saw Gennie’s point of view. If you think about it, I would imagine Nathaniel would’ve been like THIS with other women BEFORE Gennie and that is why they did not except him. But, through learning and personal growth, he managed to become controlled like Nathaniel is in The Veiled Girl with Lute.
Here me out:
“Beneath it all, what aroused Julian more than anything in the world was inversion. The negative. The denial. The refusal. He craved the ‘no’, the struggle, the tears, the terror, the outright rejection of whatever it was he wanted.”
Isn’t this exactly what gets Nathaniel off when he tortures his victims? This explains his mindset perfectly, in my opinion.
“There was no yin to his yang, no black to his white, no lock for his key.”
Isn’t this exactly Nathaniel’s dilemma? Which is why he is so attracted to Gennie, maybe, just maybe he has found someone who can complete him in this way?
Just some food for thought, but if you combined these two stories in some way, maybe even through the use of flash backs of who Nathaniel was before he met Gennie, it could be a complete novella. Not trying to tell you what to do, but it’s an interesting idea, no? 🙂
Either way, I enjoyed both pieces. My complaint for both pieces is the same: not enough detail, although Tourist has more ambiance. But I do enjoy the mindset in Tourist a lot more than in The Veiled Girl with Lute. However, I’m completely detached from anyone in Tourist except for Julian and even though I can see his point of view, I still have a hard time understanding how he became the way he was. Which is probably why, in my head, I combined The Veiled Girl with Lute to this story.
Absolutely. I do explore similar characters over and over again when they intrigue me. Especially for this series of projects. Because they very difficult characters. But in Veiled Girl, you know the origin of Nathaniel’s taste for pain. In Tourist, with Julian, you don’t. And this means the reader feels differently about them. That intrigues me – how much will we forgive a character once we know the origin of their pathology?
The other very important difference is one of consent. How does this change the eroticism of the piece for the reader?
How much more frightening is a character who doesn’t verbalize?
You raise some interesting questions. I’d love to see this be explored deeper, maybe in a comparative way, in a novella with parallel story arcs that compare and contrast the two situations. I think writing both Tourist and Veiled Girl with Lute simultaneously was a brilliant idea. If you ever publish these works, might I suggest that you make sure to keep them together? I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment of Tourist, regardless.
Fascinating… More please!
This was an excellent window into the mentality of those who do this, but I was disappointed because I did not get to read what I was expecting. Broken into these parts, this story would be perfect for use in a creative writing, or writing fiction class, there is so much to learn from this, almost like a breakdown of how to do.
Completion. Verification that this man is evil. After all 4 parts, I must say that, while well-written, it left me cold and cringing. If that was your goal, then Kudos. You did it.
Judy
My goal was to to make you think, and form your own conclusions. And you did. So, yes. Thank you. 😛
This reminds me so much of ten page Chapter 12 from George Zebrowski’s 1998 sci-fi novel “Brute Orbits.” The novel concerns rounding up our worst convicts, separating them by type, then sending them out into long orbits around the sun, in hollowed-out asteroids that will return for reuse when everyone on them is either murdered by their peers, dead of old age, or their offspring who are born out there. No prison guards. No windows. No escapes. Just brute justice for those who probably deserve it. Especially the last four pages of C-12, an erotic recounting by the character Bellamy, a convicted sexual predator and home-invasion expert that will never leave my mind due to its progressive cruelty and very primal sexual allure. Maybe it was merely my first experience with well-written eroticism, but it stuck.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this story. It reminds me of something I read somewhere, a supposedly true account of two gay men involved in S&M very similar to your story. At some point the dominant one gets carried away and decides he is going to grant the tied up guy his wish by carving him into a female right then and there with his razor blade. Quite the dilemma, but then nothing interrupts better than an interruption. The telephone rings and through a talk with the caller, who is a good buddy of the guy with the blade, is calmed down and talked out of committing the act.
I am glad to see that you are published and will investigate since I think you are good at this, consistent, and prolific. I can’t find it tonight but enjoyed your story (two parts long about a month or two ago) about a guy who kidnaps the woman who was providing him telephone sex. That would make a good novel or movie.
I’m scared for her, and want to know how it ends!
This is what I love about erotica, or other art forms. It explores fantasy and fetish that I find otherwise impossible to enjoy. There’s no way I’d participate in something without consent, and I don’t want to watch someone actually harmed either… But to be so beautifully immersed in that moment through words is magical. And why I’ll always fight for freedom of speech and creativity
WOW! And then some! What would the future bring? You’ve left me drooling for more!
And no typos this once.
Thanks.
Lorenzo
An extremely interesting quartet of short stories, each hints at some deeper meaning, but never reaches that point.