I’ve always wanted a tattoo. I like the idea of marked flesh – but not casually or without thought, I know many people who see a design they like and go for it. Through the years, I’ve pondered on what, if anything, I’d consider having indelibly marked on my flesh. I’ve never wanted anything terribly intricate or colourful. I’m just not that kind of person. I like stark and simple, and at times I’ve considered a number of bold Polynesian patterns, at others a Thai temple. I’ve played around with some very simple Escher designs. There were times, in love, when I have considered having some token of that bond immortalized on my skin, but I’m glad now that I never did it. People change. Feelings evolve. Walking around with someone’s name on my flesh would never have been appropriate for me, or for them. I was never all that worried that I’d regret it, but they might.
This is one of those very rare non-fictional blog posts. But in a way, it is still about writing. Because of all the other things I do, first, I think I’m a writer and will always be one. I can’t imagine a time when I will walk away from that pursuit and, luckily, you can do it even when your body’s gone to shit and you can hardly move. So finally, after many many years, I’ve decided what I want as a tattoo and where I want it.
It’s a simple line of text. The opening sentence of Ray Bradury’s novel ‘Fahrenheit 451’.
It was
a pleasure
to burn.
If you’ve never read the novel, you should. It’s probably one of the best pieces of dystopian fiction ever written. Although it was written in response to the rise of McCarthyism in the US in 1953, the themes of the novel – its condemnation of the censorship of the written word, its exploration of the integral humanity of reading and writing, of the individual’s responsibility to do what they know to be right, regardless of the personal costs, of the possibility of personal redemption – these are ideas that resonate deeply for me.
But also, and completely separately, it stands for me in isolation as a statement about life itself and how to live it. I have not always embraced it. I’ve been measured and cautious at times. But I’m not proud of those times in my life when I guarded myself against experience. Because although being measured has been sensible, it has never been a pleasure.
The times in my life when I have had the courage to give of myself and experience the world without my guard up have indeed been like ‘burning’ and they were a pleasure. Not a pleasure in the simple sense of something that felt good, but in the greater sense of being overwhelming, awe-inspiring, and transgressive.
I am just now coming out of a very long period of hibernation – of being measured, of keeping myself very much apart. At the same time, I have embarked on a very exciting journey in taking on a PhD. But most of all, I want to be ‘flesh’ again. I want to burn again. And so, I think the tattoo is appropriate and that I will reach a ripe old age and not regret its presence. Finally, I think it serves as a bit of a hint as to what to do with my body after death. I don’t want to be buried.
Now, I just have to find a tattoo artist who won’t think it beneath their talent to put it on me, and someone who can centre optically, because the balance of that last full stop makes the precise layout of this a bit of a bitch.
Have you gotten a tattoo or body mod that has lasting meaning for you? Tell me about it.
I was intrigued by tattoos several decades ago, even visiting a few shops in the quest for just the right one. Years have slipped away and still no ink, which I am happy because you are correct we change during the burn. I really do enjoy many aspects of tattooing. Holding the of a lover as the needle pierces the skin, the creative process, the artistic value of design and execution. I also really enjoy listening to the stories behind chosen ink. RG, your choice is interesting and thought provoking. More so than,
“Yeah man, its my favorite football team, isn’t it cool?!”
The one aspect of tattooing that is appealing to me is the permanence, commitment for life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts RG.
*Holding the hand of a lover, as the needle pierces the skin.
(I’m a horrible editor)
Actually, I find that both poignant and insanely hot. Sadly I do not have one to do that.
RG,
Ray Bradbury, a brilliant writer and Fahrenheit 451 one of his best.
It spoke volumes to me; I was born in 1935, in Berlin, when book burning was rapidly becoming a popular spectator sport.
Paul.
I’m spiritual to the core and my tattoos reflect that need to connect on a higher level. They all do with an aspect of God that I cling to (such as Him as Great Physician in a reflection if my desire to do nursing) or my need to trust in the direction He may lead. I deliberated on each tattoo for years at a time before I had them inked. My thinking has always been that my tattoos need to reflect something of high importance to me or it’s not going on my body.
Can I say I understand exactly what you mean about being cautious? There are times I’m held back to the point that life has whizzed by me. I’ve grabbed at nothing because I’m too worried what I will reach for wont allow me to catch it. It makes the moments I do “let go” bright. I almost feel like getting a tattoo is one way I try to allow myself to be uninhibited, but even that is done in deliberate steps.
Be careful. They are addicting once you get that first one. I have several. Mostly Asian based and a few I have drawn. Each one comes with a story. The only name I tattooed into my flesh was my own in my ethnicity’s language. Good luck finding an artist. Make sure they are clean because Hep is no joke. Getting a tattoo is like a burn a slow burn. Don’t forget to breathe.
I will be careful, Gracie. And don’t worry about the sensation. I have a really good ability to tolerate any kind of pain if I feel the outcome is worth it to me.
Like you, my flesh, (up to now) has remained a blank canvas. I’ve come close a few times but thankfully I was able to step back and gain a measure of perspective. I still laugh at the notion of blood full lips set against my white ass. I was more than a tad rebellious and angry back then.
Lately the idea of a tattoo that would remind me to stay in the moment and to breathe,would be more permanent than post-it notes on the fridge .
I’m glad you’ve come back . You’re writing never fails to stir something in me.
Think I’ll go download Farenheit 451 , it’s been decades.
This is an amazing tattoo idea. It sounds like you have found the perfect possibility. I have a few…a bee on my shoulder that my dad paid for when I was 18 is probably the most meaningful – but they all have some sort of meaning – and I try to stick to a garden theme so they seem intentional. But, a quote would be a lovely addition.
Good choice for a tattoo, RG! Centring it shouldn’t be more of a problem on skin than on paper. The tattoo artist can make a stencil, apply it where you want it, then engrave the letters in your skin with the tattoo needle.
I have a turquoise lizard on my shoulder, a kind of totem. I’ll see if I can find a photo of it.
I have had a lot of piercings. I’ve been into body modification since I was a kid. Currently I have stretched ears and my lip pierced. I have a few tattoos all fairly meaningful to me.
Should my finances go properly I intend to have a full body suit or near to it as I can get. My left arm (Left hand path/Left hand black) is reserved for horror/evil related things. The right (also my writing hand) the good things. I have a list of words and phrases to be scattered on me. I’m saving right now for the start of an insect and poetry related chest piece that starts with a death’s head hawkeye moth and a Bukowski quote. I am hoping that for my 37th birthday I can start my belly tattoos. I have serious plans.
Lately (though sickly) I am all flesh and burning and I like it. It is the only way that feels right.
I am a dr, I was a soldier, now I am ill and unable to continue either of my professions. In a moment of utter desperation, I found an artist who understood my pain. I have two quotes in beautiful script around both my wrists. They are my shackles, my pain, my joy, and my strength to continue to fight.
Now this is a story I think YOU should write. I would definitely be interested in reading it!