For the last 8 months, Daemon (Sadistic Excess) and I have been slowly working on a novella called Breach of Trust. It’s not finished, but we both agreed it was time to give it some air. I hope you enjoy what we’ve written so far.

On a pale, grey dawn, on a balcony overlooking Seven Mile beach, Elizabeth Jean Crawford soaked her real passport in rubbing alcohol, dropped a match into the metal wastepaper basket, and said goodbye to her name…

Read Breach of Trust

17 Responses

  1. i want to say something witty here, but i am still literally (and i mean that; i’m not using it to mean ‘figuratively’ the way a lot of people do) trying to catch my breath. That terror that clenches inside your chest, that catches your breath and turns your spine to water? Yeah. That’s her fear, and her passion (strange, how the two are so close one to the other…), and you’ve caught that. caught it cleanly and brilliantly, like a lightning flash on some illicit act…

    RG, you are magnificent. i don’t know that i’ve ever said so before – you hooked me with The Illustrated Teacher (i think that’s the name), and you continue to enthrall me…

    And Daemon i found through your site, i think; he’s just as magnificent in a different way, i think. colder and hotter at the same time…

    your styles meld well, and i am amazed. please… continue…

    1. Hello Angharad,
      Regarding the ‘terror’ aspect of the story. I really can’t take much credit for this. This was primarily down to Dae’s crafting of a character who fluctuated so perfectly between rigid principles and amorality.

      In the same way that materials act differently under great heat and pressure, quite normal characters, like Liz, become interesting to write in the face of characters like Jack. I could never have created Jack myself.

  2. also, RG, i wrote a post for you and some others. consider yourself an inspiration. i’d love if you’d read it (because it’s way too long to put here).

  3. RG, I find the idea of the hunter luring the hunted with friendship and love/lust, more than a little uncomfortable.

    Never the less I am finding this fascinating and interesting.

    Both characters are complex and interesting, I hope that there will be time to develop them deeper.

    Looking forward to the next chapters.

    Warm hugs,

    Paul

    1. Hi Paul, re: “the hunter luring the hunted with friendship and love/lust, more than a little uncomfortable”.

      One would hope that the least I can do for you as a fictionalist is to cause you some discomfort. I think the very last thing anyone wants, when reading a piece of fiction, is to feel comfortable. *grin*

  4. Very nicely written. The scary stuff… chapters 9 and on were like a car wreck, at least for me. I didn’t want to watch but couldn’t tear myself away. That level of violence teeters on the edge of eroticism and well, just plain scary violence. I think the coldness of Jack was succinctly captured as well as Elizabeth’s dawning awareness that she might not really know herself or that she is capable of understanding the darkness in Jack. I wonder, is she his light?

    1. And thank you for commenting, moils. I’m glad it teeters on the edge for you. I’m sure for a lot of people it will be too much, and for some not enough. But I think Dae’s done a brilliant job in creating a very complex, very frightening character. He manages, somehow, to make her frightening too.

  5. I am one of those people who reads and leaves. I just find it hard to believe that you actually want honest feedback on your writing, when I loathe getting feedback from people about mine. That being said …

    I found this story to be gripping up until section 11, last paragraph. Something about that paragraph jerked me out of the story. I think maybe that paragraph was implying history that wasn’t there, or maybe it just seemed too out of character for Elizabeth.

    I will be fascinated to see if Jack can recover from his deeds so far. And I absolutely love the story.

    1. I love getting feedback. I’m going to take a look at chapter 11! It’s very, very important to know if something actually jerks a reader out of a story. That’s not what we want at all! And so knowing it is happening is the first step to fixing it, no? Hugs and thank you.

  6. I enjoyed that the sex was hot and still integrated into the story, instead of just a plot as a vehicle for eroticism.

    When Liz had nothing left to lose, the resolve that peeked through was really compelling.

  7. Well, it certainly jerked me right out of the story, and body-slammed me directly into the past.

    Maybe simply implying that fiction very closely parallels reality is enough. I love the story, as sad and beautiful as it is. When I finished reading I got angry, and have been there, since. That’s what happens when a story has been masterfully crafted – it DIGS.

    Dae and RG, Thank You again, but perhaps you should delete that last ‘paragraph.’ (comment)

  8. Wonderful, as always, to read a well crafted story. I am not feeling terribly patient about having to wait for the next installment. I guess I will have to grin and bear it. *grinning*

    I am quite impressed at how seamlessly your two voices are incorporated in this work.

    I remember being surprised by Liz’s admission in the last paragraph of chapter 11. I wasn’t jerked from the story, as Sassy was, but it did briefly nudge my suspension of disbelief. I found myself stopping to contemplate her motive rather than read on immediately. Was this a play for sympathy? I decided, after some thought, that this was an extension of her determination to make him look at her face if he was going to kill her. I think, on a second reading, that perhaps I find it more believable as an unintended admission, the hysterical giggle and then a blurted confidence in the face of extreme stress. I like that their relationship is more complex than sex and violence. I like that there is an exploration of underlying feelings and I would not have you remove this section if I suddenly had the power to play editor/goddess. I also like that you leave me, the reader, room to think about and even change my mind about what makes a character tick. Just wanted to add my experience of that section to the feedback mix.

    I really enjoy all of your work, even stuff like this, or maybe especially stuff like this, that pushes my boundaries of what is acceptable in a sexual relationship. It’s easier for me to accept nonconsensual, sexualized violence when it’s written in fantasy form, Mumbai Coven stories for example. To accept it when it’s between two humans that could live in consensus reality here with us and when it’s the woman who is an unwilling recipient of violence is quite challenging for me. To find it sexy is disquieting. I like being challenged and my taste for being disquieted is growing.

    Thank you for taking the time and energy to continue sharing your work with all of us in world wide web land. It is very appreciated.

    Your long-winded friend, Juni

  9. I agree with Juni. In all of her comment – but especially About waiting — and about Liz’s confession. I actually hoped that he would see her side of things before it – or even he – went beyond redemption.

    I am barely holding on to read the rest.

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