Uncivil
He arrives home worse for wear. Battered and sheepish, a triumphant smile threatening to break through the mask of contrition. “You’re such a guy,” I say, trying to look disgusted. “I know.” He chuckles. “We’re all just big dumb animals.” The cut on his cheek tears me in two. Right on the bone, the skin […]
The Duties of an Author and the Responsibilities of a Reader
There are aspects of the rise of online booksellers, e-books, reader-reviews and the general phenomena surrounding reading and the internet that I like very much. But there are also parts of it I abhor. Self-publishing, the rise of small e-book presses and the refusal of publishers to do the marketing they once did has meant […]
To Think or Not to Think… In Which Your Faithful Narrator Rebuts Palahniuk’s Banishing of the Thought Verbs
First, have a read of this very interesting essay by Chuck Palahniuk on ‘thought’ verbs and why you shouldn’t use them. Hopefully, I haven’t lost you. I’m going to attempt to put together some robust arguments for why I think he’s wrong. Not completely wrong. A great deal of what he says is true, makes […]
Three Times Lucky
“What’s the R for?” I asked in an offhand way, hoping to convince her that I didn’t care all that much. “Oh, that,” she drawled, then gave a soft laugh, turned her head to look over her shoulder like she’d forgotten it was there. “Dumb stuff you do when you’re young.” Amalia sprawled on her […]
Get on the Couch and Spread ‘Em
This morning, it was just there. There climbing up the back garden wall. I don’t think it was there yesterday. I’m damn sure it wasn’t there last week. It arrived while I wasn’t looking. I’d dropped my vigilance and there it was, in all its obvious, obscene phallic glory. Don’t give me the ‘it’s just […]
Magic Lantern
Getting to know him was a pleasure. People often say that and they mean it as a politeness. So I’ll rephrase. Getting to know him was my pleasure, as is my continued knowing of him. It is my perversion. Admittedly, I have a few others. The reasons he manufactures to hurt me matter. He’s got […]
How to Survive A Death by Drowning
The first breath is the hardest. On waking, it feels impossible to take in any air with my lungs still filled with the sea water of my dream. I’ve been sleeping, dreaming, floating beneath the surface for a long time. I didn’t fly to another country; I traveled into the warm, deep green. At first […]
Future Perfect
The blessing of a lover who never arrives is that you may wait forever in that state of delicious agony, anticipating a moment that will always float before you in splendid future perfect. You will not meet with disappointment or be faced with impossible choices. There will be no life-changing precipice to leap over. You […]
Ad Nauseum
You show me yet another clip of some hapless losers fucking and pass it off as transgressive. It’s about as transgressive as dogs mating. Less so. This endless repetition of some stylized version of what every adult in the world knows how to do without even being taught. I’m with the censors. Ban it all: […]
There is no Freedom without Risk: Suck it Up.
Many Britons I know are in an uproar about Prime Minister David Cameron’s threat to force Google to block certain searches. He’s riding on a massive wave of anti-pedophilia hysteria that has gripped the UK for the past 8 years, fed by an obsessive press that can’t get enough of reporting the titilating details of […]