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Beautiful Losers

Sadly, the publishing company, Constable & Robinson, who published Beautiful Losers was purchased by Little, Brown. As far as I know, the only available version of the novel is in e-book form here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Losers-Modern-Erotic-Classics-ebook/dp/B0119PD31C/ref=sr_1_2?hvadid=80401820233969&hvbmt=bp&hvdev=c&hvqmt=p&keywords=remittance+girl&qid=1569755832&sr=8-2

I note that it is not available in any other market other than the UK.

Honestly, I’m fed up with publishing. At the same time, the expectation for writers to produce good work for free is almost universal.

Beautiful Losers first appeared in serialised form on this site. And while I do contemplate just putting it back up, I also hesitate to feed the beast of the ‘freebie’ culture, which really makes it almost impossible for most writers to earn even the most meagre of livings.

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23 Responses

    1. I agree. I would pay up to $100 dollars for a printed version of this book. That’s all my spare money for two months. Bc I feel like its more than an erotica, or a cheap thrill. u know what I mean?

      Reply

    2. I agree. I would pay up to $100 dollars for a printed version of this book. That’s all my spare money for two months. Bc I feel like its more than an erotica, or a cheap thrill. u know what I mean?

      Reply

    3. I just wanted to say having read Beautiful Losers I loved the story so much I bought it through kindle. It wasn’t what I was looking for when I found it but it was an amazing story. Mostly thank you.

      Reply

  2. Hi, Remittance Girl
    I was going to try to find it for free, but now you’ve offered it. I really can’t take it. You are right about the difficulties of an author to, on one hand, provide quality content to their audiences and at the same time, earn a living. If I could I would like to offer you a whole publishing house dedicated to promoting your work. But as I currently have 130 in my bank account, that seems very unlikely. I would though, love to pay for my part of getting any copies of the book.

    Reply

  6. Could you perhaps self publish via Kindle? It’s not hard copy and it’s not a lot of money usually – but you can set your own price and avoid that devaluation thing that expects artists to work for free – and most importantly make it available to those not in the UK. Also Kindle books can be read on any device and even be given as gifts. Sorry if that sounds like an advert. I’m visually impaired and Kindle has been an important part of keeping books accessible to me. Personally I’m surprised more people in the community don’t do it, although I know Kayla Lords has.

    Also, Thank your for writing such intriguing stories that really invite thought – something I rarely do when reading fiction. Usually I have to turn to non-fiction for that. I just read « back to nature » and haven’t stopped puzzling over the questions raised by what is put in – and left out – of the story. Usually I’m feeling either totally spoon-fed and or totally baffled as the gaps are too big. But in your writing the breadcrumb trails are sufficient to entice and the story telling masterful. It should definitely have a chance to reach a wider audience.

    Reply

  7. You know when you stumble on something wonderful, devour the lot, get frustrated because you finished it all? Well, that. Until this… Loved this post and am dumbfounded it never occurred to me to go out and get the published stuff. Thank you for painting worlds that feel real.

    Reply

  10. I was delighted to see your tag line on email because agree that your audience appreciates
    1/ the high quality of your writing skills, the range and the depth of your psychological insights, and the variety of your imaginative out of the ballpark points of view.

    Reply

  11. Hey, put it up there for sale. I’m not like that. My Ukulele sheet music is “free”, but I always through something in the kitty. I don’t mind paying for content.

    Reply

  12. I have been trying to find this book for years! It’s listed on American Amazon, but as “Not for Sale,” with no explanation. Wtf? Now I understand. Yes, please, look into getting the rights back. Release it as an ebook if you’re not up to the considerable work of self-publishing in print (though I would LOVE to have it in print).

    There are still lots of people who would love to read this book!

    Reply

  14. ‘Free’ or ‘discounted’ are expected for all products these days. Beautiful Losers was a memorable story, and I thank you for offering it for free some years ago. But, I pay for every other story I read now. Why not yours?

    Reply

  15. I read a story you wrote about a scared up man who bought a metal lips sculpture from a woman, where can I find it now, I lost it and loved it

    Reply

  16. I love your work so much, and I would love to share it with a friend – where can I find the story about crossing the river Styx?

    Reply

  17. I have followed your writing for many years, but now cannot access “comments” on any of the stories or articles.
    Please can you let me know how to?
    Thanks.

    Reply

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Beautiful Losers

BL_siteBeautiful Losers has been a project long in the making. Originally a serialized story, it was finalized and published by Constable and Robinson in 2012.

The novel follows a few months in the lives of Shira, Jean and Sebastian, a very unlikely threesome who are drawn together by friendship, alienation and darker agendas. Beautiful Losers is a love story but not a romance. It contains explicit depictions of sex in which gender and orientation matter less than desire.

Available from:

Kindle US: http://www.amazon.com/Beautiful-Losers-Modern-Classics-ebook/dp/B009ZVJXH6
Kindle UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Beautiful-Losers-Modern-Classics-ebook/dp/B009ZVJXH6

* * *

From Nathan Burgoine’s review at Erotica Revealed:

If you’re looking for a well-written and erotic coupling of two men and a woman, I think you’d be hard pressed to find many tales as nuanced as Beautiful Losers.  Like the three characters themselves, it’s not a simple, nor straightforward, relationship. I put the book down a little bit stunned, since of all the things I expected the ending might be, turned out to be wrong. It was not remotely something I’d foreseen (that’s not a criticism) and the story percolated in my head for a long time after. It’s not often that I have that reaction – this story made me think and really had me examining some beliefs, and that is always a good thing.

 

* * *

Excerpt:

(From Chapter 3: Geographies)

‘Shira?’ gasped Jean. He pulled my face towards his, his lips brushing mine. ‘I’m coming,’ moaned Jean.

‘I know,’ I whispered. The first hot spurts spattered over my stomach. ‘Oh God. That’s so sweet, Jean,’ I moaned.

Sebastian bit into the back of my neck and I groaned. All the warm, comradely thoughts of Jean coming fragmented as the pain tipped me over the edge. It was so abrupt it felt like vertigo. My whole body jerked as I spasmed; it wasn’t a nice comfortable sort of climax at all – it was violent and harsh and wouldn’t stop. I sobbed and hiccupped and made noises without sense.

‘What are you doing to her?’

Sebastian pressed me down harder on his cock with every thrust. ‘She’s coming, that’s all,’ he panted. ‘Aren’t you? Fuck, yes, I can feel her.’

I’d been staring into Jean’s eyes blindly. Now he slid into focus. ‘Ah . . .’ I tried to be comprehensible but nothing worked. ‘God, yes . . .’

My cunt muscles clamped shut around him and moments later Sebastian was coming too; his breath caught in his throat and he moaned each time his body jerked until the spikes of pleasure slowly receded. He was hugging me so tight I could hardly breathe.

‘Oh, fuck . . .’ Sebastian panted in my ear. ‘Gorgeous – that was just gorgeous. What a nice little cunt you’ve got, Miss Shira.’ He wasn’t stopping. He was still sliding in and out of me.

 

 

50 Responses

  1. Just finished reading beautiful losers, and I can’t seem to stop crying. I don’t think I am just mourning the death if the caracter, I feel like I am missing something…. Hope to figure it out soon. Your writing is amazing, keep it coming.

    Reply

  2. When it was over I felt like I took a hard jab to my stomach – pain and momentary breathlessness. Followed by deep, heart wrenching sobs. The feeling of sorrow stayed for hours.

    I enjoyed more than a few long bursts of genuine laughter. All the way through I knew it wouldn’t be a happy ending. I’ve read enough of your stuff RG to realize that you aren’t going to give that to us. Later I realized I had been hoping against that knowledge. That’s what a girl gets for having hope.

    Reply

      1. There are times I want to lose myself in the fantasy of love impossible turned real with a happy ending. It fulfills my wish for a too right to be real lover. However, life isn’t like that and those kind of men/relationships don’t actually exist. Your stories show me the darker, more likely side of being involved and taking chances even if the exact scenarios are unlikely to happen to me. Sometimes a girl needs a reality check and your prose is so compelling that I willingly take the pain to experience the emotions it brings out. You’re a true wordsmith RG and will read every last story I can get my hands on.

        Reply

        1. My particular fantasy addictions are sci-fi and cosy murder mysteries. I absolutely understand the comfort readers find in fictional ideals. I just can’t write them. I leave that to the professionals.

          Reply

  3. Why did you choose to call your book after Leonard Cohen’s first novel? it seems a shame somehow. I ‘ve only read two of your short stories so far and you write well but they are not quite graphic enough for me. Still, never mind, I’ll read a few more and see if i can find one that turns me on. Ciao

    Reply

  4. I just wanted to tell you how much I loved Beautiful Losers. It has been a while since I read it and it still haunts me. I read a similar book with a triad relationship yesterday and all I could think was Beautiful Losers was so much better. All you books haunt me in a way… some more than others. This and Gajin are my favorites.

    Reply

      1. Sometimes the beauty in a book is the suffering… If it didn’t end the way it did, I don’t think it would have moved me so much.

        Reply

  5. Beautiful Losers is one of my all time favorite books. I wanted my girlfriend to read it but she doesn’t have a kindle. Is there another avenue that this book can be purchased? I looked on Barnes and Nobles and Smashwords but this particular book is not on those sites.

    Reply

    1. Hello Sunny. I’m afraid Beautiful Losers is a bit beyond my control. It’s published by a UK publisher and at one point it looked like they’d do a print run of it, but I guess they decided it wasn’t worth their while. I’m so sorry.

      Reply

  6. I just finished reading Beautiful Losers.

    I’ve been on a bit of a reading kick lately and I’ve felt for a while that I haven’t been able to find something that really made me feel.

    My favorite part was definitely seeing Jean finally become sexually attracted to and *really* fall in love with Shira. It was so beautiful. Overall, seeing how each “couple” had a relationship within the relationship (family might be a better word?), but still worked well within a whole was amazing.

    In the end I think that Seb taught them a lot of things. I know some people were really sad in the ending, but for some reason I felt happy. Happy that Jean and Shira had each other even when he was gone. I don’t know why I feel this way, because I really loved his character and character development throughout the story. I think I probably feel this way because one of the characters leaving willingly because of a breakup or clash of sorts, and although it will never be the same, Jean and Shira still had each other.

    I don’t love characters dying exactly, but I think the ending was amazing and exactly what it needed to be.

    This is the first of the longer pieces of yours I have read, and I’m captivated. As someone else mentioned, I really wish that the publishers would decide to have this made in print. I love the actual feeling of holding a book in my hands and this would be a beautiful addition to my ever growing collection.

    RemittanceGirl,
    If you have the chance…did you know from the beginning of the story that one of your characters would end up dead? Or did you realize as you were writing that death would be his fate?

    Reply

    1. So, a bit of a confession – Although my stories are fictional, like all writers, I take bits and pieces from life. I’ve encountered a few Sebastians in my life, and they are always slightly unworldly people. As if they don’t really belong in the mortal world and consequently don’t seem to stay in it all that long. Yes, I always knew what the ending was. And, quite frankly, that’s why it took me so long to finish the story. I thought it was the right ending, the most real ending, and the one I, like most readers, didn’t want.

      Reply

    2. “If you have the chance…did you know from the beginning of the story that one of your characters would end up dead? Or did you realize as you were writing that death would be his fate?”

      I didn’t know at the very beginning. I knew about half-way through.

      Reply

  7. Dear RG,

    I m a young girl just discovering erotica. And coming from a culture which represses female sexuality and suppresses any kind of independence a woman might have. When I grew and I knew there s something called ‘sexuality’ (which I have doubted I attained in full yet), as I had no freedom to experiment, I turned to pornography and romance. Neither did satisfy me. Only my feelings of guilt deepened for being únnatural’.

    Beautiful losers and Gaijin were a revelation.

    I m so happy for having discovered you and your works. Can I say with all stars in my eyes that I love you? Though I do not know who you are etc., your work has spoken to me and I find a strong thread of integrity and courage lying woven in all your posts. Somehow that guilt in me is gone, and I look forward to learning more from your thoughts and grow furthermore.

    I wish you all the best and if any one ever confides in me with the same kind of worries that i had experienced, I d first direct them towards your site which I m sure would teach them to own up their sexuality freely and guiltlessly as it did to me.

    Thanks and always your admirer.

    Reply

  8. Where can I find this story? I remember reading it when you had it published on your site years ago. I’ve always wondered what happened in the end and would like to read it.

    Thanks!

    M

    Reply

  9. I have looked everywhere for this book and I am having no such luck. The only thing I can find is Kindle UK. I am in the US and it won’t let me purchase. Any advice for me? 🙂

    Reply

      1. Ah, thank you. A link that actually works! It still says it’s not available in my country, but hopefully soon it will be! Thanks for the response.

        Reply

  10. I can’t believe how panicked I am about not being able to buy this story. I am truly disturbed that the book is not available for purchase on Amazon. And, I mean that in the most flattering way possible. After reading some of your short stories on your website, I am positively enthralled by the idea of reading the story your fans say is there absolute favorite. The others are so amazing that I truly am looking forward to reading this one. Amazon says that your story beautiful losers is not available for purchase right now. Where else can I go to purchase it? The link above works but the description says it’s not available anymore. Thank you so much for your work

    Reply

  11. Hello!
    Is there any way to get Beautiful Losers from you directly if it is not available in my country? None of the above links have worked for me.

    Signed,
    A hopeful fan

    Reply

      1. HI There 🙂 I live in Toronto and I’ve stumbled across Beautiful Losers on Goodreads, and I am itching to get my hands on a copy; would you be willing to send me a copy for review??

        Reply

        1. I’d be willing to send you a copy to read. I’m not particularly interested in sending it to you in exchange for a review. I find that a deplorable practice. What format would you like it in – pdf or mobi?

          Reply

          1. I totally understand, regardless, I am DYING to read it 🙂 You can send me the mobi format.
            Thanks SO MUCH RG!!!! I appreciate it so much.

            Reply

  12. Hi,
    I’ve been trying to find this in ebook either in epub, mobi or pdf , I didn’t care which. But it’s just not available for purchase online in my location. Which is weird because I’m in Brooklyn,NY where my super indulged sense of entitlement has led me to think I could get my greedy paws on anything I wanted. And usually I can. Just not Beautiful Losers in epub, mobi or pdf…. I would happily send you the list price via PayPal in order to have a chance to read it.

    Reply

  14. I want to purchase this ebook on Amazon but it seems to be not available can I buy it from you??

    Reply

  15. Fuck. I’ve just spent the last couple of hours reading this. Despite being alarmingly aroused throughout, I finished the last few pages sobbing. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything that made me cry so hard – for myself and for humanity. I feel confused by how raw this piece of writing leaves me feeling.

    Reply

    1. Lisa, if I may, I shall appropriate your words briefly, I did not know how to express myself. I just finished Beautiful Losers, and have indeed shed tears. But rawness, thanks, perfectly describes my feelings. Raw and naked, I feel, and small. Powerful writing.

      Best,

      Lorenzo

      Reply

  16. I’ve enjoyed your writing and would love to read this story, but can’t seem to find it in the US. Is there any way I could get a copy?

    Reply

      1. Hi! As with your other fans, I also cannot find any links that work to obtain Beautiful Losers. If I could possibly receive a pdf copy from you, it would be so appreciated!

        Reply

  17. I started this story so long ago and am upset I am unable to finish it. Is there any way it could be emailed to me?

    Reply

  18. I still can’t find this book anywhere, I would love a PDF ….;-) please please … been wanting to read this forever

    Reply

  19. Dear Remittance Girl, I’ve been reading your work in the U.S. over the past two years, and have bought all your work that I can. You have such a strong & clear & intelligent voice in your erotic fiction that I come back to it time & again, because it touches me deeply in a way that so many other authors can not. I cannot obtain Beautiful Losers and would very much love to read it. Is there any where I can access or purchase a PDF? Please continue to write & publish. Regards, N

    Reply

  21. Hi, Remittance girl.

    It was impossible to find this book for free online, looks like no one bothered. No matter, I like this book enough to pay for it, but even with money in hand, I was unsuccessful in finding a seller. Kindle, Kodo, ebook.com, all seem to be dearth of this one book. May I ask what happened?

    Reply

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