The Middle Way

I just finished reading “The “Pornification” of Sacred Sexuality” by Modern Love Muse. This combined with a comment recently left on my post on Cheating got me thinking about modern representations of sex. We’re an odd species. Either we’re commodifying sex to the point where it’s just another thing we eat and shit out – […]

Cheating

So, I’ve been having these waves of conversations about ‘cheating’. He cheated on her. She cheated on him. Someone has a not so open, open relationship, and the ones who’ve professed monogamy for life are all in hell for one reason or another. I don’t often give advice, but I’m going to do it. There […]

Rihanna’s S&M and the Mainstreamification of Kink

I’m torn about this sort of thing. Certainly I am pleased on any rare occasion when kink is represented in mainstream media as something other than negative. On the other hand – if ‘whips and chains’ really did excite Rihanna, this is not the video she would have made.  This pisses me off unaccountably in […]

On Sadism

This post is primarily in response to Tutivillus’ excellent podcast on being a physical sadist. It’s short and clear, so please have a listen to it before you read my post, or it really won’t make a lot of sense. You can listen here. (Please read Tutivillus’ comment at the bottom of this blog. Apparently […]

Outed for being a Good Teacher and a Published Author

I don’t know how many of you have heard the about Judy Mays, but this high school English teacher of 25 years has just been disgustingly and viciously ‘outed’ as – hold on to your hats – an erotica writer. You can see what laughingly passes for news here.  And read more about her travails […]

Portraits of Kink – A site of its Own

UPDATE: APRIL 11, 2011 : WHERE HAVE ALL THE PORTRAITS GONE? They’ve moved to a lovely new site of their own. Please visit it at www.portraitsofkink.com ___________________________     A while back, I proposed a project and asked people who saw themselves as non-vanilla if they’d be willing to answer some questions about themselves in […]

D/s sans Humiliation: A Response to a Comment.

I recently got a comment on an piece of erotic fiction I wrote which I really liked because it asked a question I didn’t have a ready answer for. The story was Pleasure’s Apprentice and the comment was from Amy: Amy on April 3, 2011 at 1:20 pm I’ve read this one several times […] […]

Covering Up the Disempowerment of Men

I rarely get overtly political on this blog. I have another one for that. But this is a gender issue and goes to the very heart of gender identity and what it means to be a human. What triggered my ire was this exchange between Veena Malik, a Pakistani film star and comedienne, and a […]

#ladypornday – Subject/Object of Desire

I wasn’t invited to contribute to #ladypornday by @rabbitwhite, but I thought I’d be obnoxious and go for it anyway. __________________________ They say one man’s meat is another man’s poison. I say I hate porn, except for the porn that gets me off. It took me a long time to begin to understand the mechanism […]

Conceiving of the unconceived – Hetero Women’s Porn

My last post generated some very interesting discussions on twitter. It is clear that, for many women, what is currently available to them in the market is adequate. There are many heterosexual women who are very happy to consume porn made for men. There are also lots of women who find porn made for gay […]