I’m torn about this sort of thing. Certainly I am pleased on any rare occasion when kink is represented in mainstream media as something other than negative.
On the other hand – if ‘whips and chains’ really did excite Rihanna, this is not the video she would have made. This pisses me off unaccountably in the same way that I get angry when patently heterosexual pop-stars start snogging with members of the same sex as a publicity stunt. I object to having my sexuality used as a marketing ploy.
Am I a humourless crotchety bitch? (okay, I already know the answer to that.)
Here’s my problem. S&M doesn’t look like this. This is surface fetish crap. It’s the visual, simplistic side of kink and it’s a lot more pervasive than just Rihanna. There is a lot of it out there and I can’t help feeling, at a very deep level, that there is a great deal of misinformation in these representations because it’s so pretty and there is so much left out.
I remember once turning up at a Bangkok floating restaurant and having to sit through a coverband churning out bad renditions of Beatles’ songs with the lead singer dressed in fetish-wear. I don’t remember what I ate, but I do distinctly remember wondering whether she’d sing any better secured to a punishment horse with an 8 inch dildo in her ass.
In my experience, BDSM may be a lot of things, but it’s not pretty. Nothing that addresses human needs at such a fundamental level is pretty. It can be breathtakingly beautiful to people who have developed an eye for it. But it’s not cute.
I guess to a lot of people, it’s just titillating to watch Rihanna parade around in white vinyl – she does have a seriously magnificent ass. Perhaps people spend more time fixating on how she eats a banana or licks ice cream. Those are perfectly fine porn memes.
A couple of viewings of the video tells me much more about taking revenge on the press. Superficial fantasies of whipping and a smidgeon of humiliation. I can see why someone would want to take revenge on the press, sure. Except that there would be no Rihanna without the press and the media as a whole. And why not just go for it and depict them having their entrails torn out by rabid dogs? Why use a superficial, stylized and utterly facile interpretation of my sexual practices to do it?
I guess what confounds me at the dawn of the 21st century is how few truly genuine representations of real BDSM exist in mainstream media. Still.
Have you seen any?
Nope. I really don’t think they exist.
I also hate the mainstreaming of kink imagery. I don’t hang so much on the pretty visuals, but I’m not too into kink myself so that probably plays a huge part.
My personal pet peeve is that it creates this bizarre pool of sexual acts all together. Because graphic sex and even a good thorough kiss aren’t acceptable to depict, BDSM acts and fetishes get mixed together with flirting and rubbing. It’s like society requires that music videos represent the early rungs on the sexual activity ladder, then throws various things down to that level that probably aren’t *healthy* to explore right off the bat. There’s always an exception to the words “healthy” and “sexual activity” but my problem here is this vague idea that music videos are mainstream fare and a huge part of their audience is either teens or people who don’t put much effort into accurately understanding human sexuality. That, combined with the fact there aren’t accurate depictions of BDSM in sex ed either, just fucks with people’s minds further. ala “I’m seventeen and my boyfriend started hurting me during sex the other day and and I don’t really enjoy it. What’s wrong with me?”
And my other big objection is the way they butcher symbolism. It’s a music video, all it has to work with is symbolism. If she’s the one threatening someone with the flogger, then she probably shouldn’t be writhing around fellating the damn thing in the next scene.
You’ve made some really excellent points here. But I fear that with the ubiquitous access to porn on the net, music videos don’t play as much a role in bad sex-ed anymore.
RG, I’m not into BDSM and I don’t like Rihanna.
I find this video both tasteless and ignorant.
Several of my friends and acquaintances are into various aspects of BDSM. they feel the same way.
I can’t remember a time when sex hasn’t been at the sharp end of advertising, and having ones kink parodied can be very irritating.
In case you are wondering. many of my female friends consider me a Top.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
I need to preface this by saying that I am not a Rihanna fan. She is simply not my thing… and yet somehow, I’m about to defend her.
First of all, it has to be stated that she (and I’m using the pronoun ‘she’ to mean all the people involved in creating the popstar Rihanna, as it’s near impossible to know what SHE actually likes) did not create this video as pornography. It’s intention is not to promote BDSM; it’s pop music, it’s entertainment. It’s a visual representation of a – in my opinion – rather mediocre song. If she had set out to create a porn video and this is what had come back with, then everything you’re saying would have some validity. But she didn’t. The whole thing is just money-focused entertainment – which is not a good thing, but is part of a much bigger problem.
Furthermore, if it was pornography, saying that it’s not valid because it’s pretty and fake and it leaves things out is kind of small-minded. What if that is what gets you off? What if you like the pretty, fake stuff without the reality? Why shouldn’t you get that? You’re only ever going to get it through a lens, but why not?
Having said that… I do think the lack of true S&M representation in media is a problem. But I don’t think the root of that problem is the existence of Rihanna videos; I think it’s the absence of the real deals. We should have both.
And actually, although I know this isn’t the issue you’re raising, watching this video, my first thoughts were of the young kids who undoubtedly have and will see this video. I raise serious issue with the sexualised popular culture that is being thrown at young people and encouraging them to grow up way too fast.
It just seems to me a little like you’ve picked the unnecessary battle in the middle of a war.
You’re probably right. Did I mention I was a crotchety bitch?
Wow, I was expecting something bad, but that video is so much worse than that. But the song has always seemed to be more about shock value than sexual preferences to me. Even if she does like whips and chains, I think it would be more of a game than an actual desire to submit or for pain, etc (this is fine, but not the same thing).
This video makes me sick… as I watched it I felt more and more disturbed with the way she flaunts these “fetishes”.
There was nothing BDSM about it and this is a step backwards in trying to explain BDSM to the mainstream crowd. There is nothing sparkly, or cute about real submission and the bit with her leading around the man on the leash? *shudder* Disgusting.
E
I do think the video is a parody rather than an intended mainstreamification (great word, RG!), but I would agree with Lady Grinning Soul: this video is aimed at kids, and as such it is deeply disturbing. Because they of all people will connect it to her being beaten up by Chris Brown. And therefore they will think she liked that as well.
Ah, well. That’s background I didn’t know about
I have to agree with the disappointment of no ‘real’ substance to most videos like this. Having said that it is for entertainment & not education. That doesn’t make it right or better but sadly the PVC & whips seem to be the ‘bad ass’ look… *rolls eyes*
Valid points RG
Rihanna said in her recent Rolling Stone interview that yes, she does enjoy some BDSM activities.
I am taken aback at your “S&M doesn’t look like this. This is surface fetish crap. It’s the visual, simplistic side of kink…” OK, it’s a music video, not a documentary, but also, for quite a lot of us who *are* into BDSM, the visual aspects of fetish costumery are indeed beautiful and titillating and part of our kink. (Watching Rihanna in that white vinyl outfit and writhing behind that big sheet of clear plastic makes me want to go straight to the dungeon and play with bondage tape…) It may not have any relationship to *your* flavor of BDSM, but that doesn’t mean it’s false.
And after all she’s been through, I can see her wanting to get switchy with the press too!
best,
flightless