Mine.

I don’t usually write this kind of straight-up erotica. But we’ve been discussing the shortcomings of D/s representations in 50 Shades of Grey, lamenting the fact that the author felt the need to make the protagonist so absurdly innocent, observing the fact that, for all the BDSM trappings, the sex was strangely vanillaish. Dangerous Sweets posted a very short, very raw snippet of another approach to that kind of dichotomy – a vanilla woman who wants to be with a kinky man.  We played around a little with using POV to turn a vanilla sex act kinky, keeping to scenes that had no toys or obvious trappings of BDSM. So, I decided to try my hand at an act that could easily be a vanilla one, and gave it a rare happy ending while still keeping the problematic of the gulf between vanilla and kink as the central conflict.

Traitorous muscles rebelled and she gagged again.  Amanda would have apologized if her mouth hadn’t been so full of his cock.

“Sh-h.” He stroked her hair with infinite patience. “You’re doing fine. Just breathe through your nose.”

Amanda squeezed her eyes shut, dislodging twin tears. She wasn’t crying; it was just the gag reaction that made her tear up.  There seemed no way to stop it.

Shuffling on her knees a little, she made another determined effort as he pushed her head down. This time she remembered to breathe through her nose, but it didn’t seem to make a difference. Another spasm gripped at her stomach and travelled up her esophagus.

Gently, but with measured firmness, he pulled her head away from him and looked down at her.

“I can feel the tension in your neck – your whole body, in fact.  It won’t go away until you trust me not to suffocate you.”

“Jesus, I’m really sorry. I just can’t seem to stop it. If you’d just let me give you head at my own pace… I’m really not that bad at it, you know.”

He knit his brows and looked down at her. “You’re an outstanding cocksucker, Amanda.  But this isn’t about a blowjob. I couldn’t give a fuck if I don’t come. It’s about trust. You don’t trust me.”

That did bring real tears to her eyes. “But I do!” she said, wrapping her arms around his thighs and pressing her cheek to his erect cock. “I really do. I love you.”

“Maybe, but you don’t TRUST me.  So your body doesn’t trust me.”

“But… I’d do anything!” she pleaded.  “I’m happy to give you every part of me. Any part of me!”

“I know that, sweet. But you giving is not the same thing as me taking. And I won’t take you without trust.”

“Take it anyway, I don’t mind.” She looked up at him.

“But I do.”

His words seemed so final. So far away.  Like they’d made an enormous gulf between them. And that scared her more. She didn’t want to lose him. She didn’t want to let him walk away just because they were used to different ways of having sex.

Robert wasn’t a stupid man, or a selfish man.  But he was very much a dominant one, and even if he hadn’t told her so, she would have felt it from the beginning. The first time he’d kissed her. The first time they’d made love. The second, the third.  He had held something back and she had sensed it.

He hadn’t threatened to walk out. Hadn’t demanded anything. But she knew he was never going to stop wanting what he wanted. And that something… the thing he wanted, intrigued her. But it scared her too.  He was right, she didn’t trust him. She’d never trusted any man in the way he so clearly needed to be trusted.

Amanda took a breath. “Let’s try again.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. His voice was gentle, but there was a thread of expectation lurking beneath.

“Yup. You tell me if you feel me tensing up. So that I realize it.”

“You know, this really doesn’t matter. Let’s leave it.”

“No!” she said, taking his hand and putting it back on the nape of her neck. “Please, just once more.”

And in truth, his hand felt good there. Warm against her skin. His solid fingers creeping through the strands of her hair.  Robert flexed them, stroked her scalp with the tips of them. “Relax, love. I’m not going to suffocate you.”

This time she made a concerted effort to release the tension in her muscles. She moved her head from side to side and closed her eyes, trying to consciously relax. “Promise me you won’t,” she whispered. “Say it, please.”

“I promise. I’ll know if you can’t breathe.” Then he pulled her head to his groin, easing his cock past her lips. “Let yourself go limp. Don’t give me your mouth. Let me take it.”

That was the moment she felt him take over. Felt his cock slide over the hill of her tongue, felt every vein on its underside as he drew back out. At first she could feel him guide her with his hand, but then it simply held her still as he moved his hips.

She breathed, fighting down the need to do something, to take control of it. Instead she enclosed him between her lips and started to suck.

“No…” he said quietly, stilling his hips. “Don’t suck. Not yet. I don’t want you to service me. I want to take.”

He caressed the back of her head, and began to rock his hips again. Slow and sure. “Just like that. Your mouth is mine. Show me that it is.”

Something in the way he spoke to her then, something entirely different. It melted her. Freed her. Banished her need to perform for him. His mouth. There was something both deeply erotic and dreadful in that.

“You’re doing fine, Amanda. Just fine,” he whispered.

His grip grew firmer. The thrust of his hips just a little more insistent. The head of his cock pushed at the back of her palate and she felt the familiar sensation of an imminent gag cinch her chest.

“My mouth, Amanda. My throat. Let me have it.” His words were breathy, but the tone was sure.

Then he was pushing into it. Not hard, but with a determined claiming of territory. And it was his to have, she felt.  The urge to gag had receded. She breathed each time he pulled out, only to feel strangely possessed as he pressed back in.

“Good, good girl.” His voice was gritty with lust.  “Clever girl.”

The word brought her back to a childhood she’d never had. To praise she had craved and never received. And it scared her, that they made her feel that way. The pleasure those words gave her seemed suddenly terrifying, obscene.  Her throat closed up, her muscles spasmed shut.

As if he could read her mind, he paused. It must have cost him. His cock was painfully rigid, pulsing, as he pulled it from her mouth and canted her head up to meet his eyes.

“What were you thinking? Just then. What was it?”

“Those words. The praise. I’m not sure. It felt wonderful and that…”

“Scared you?”

“Yes.”

“Because a grown woman shouldn’t be so gratified by that kind of praise?”

Amanda nodded. That was it. That was it exactly.

“There’s no place here for ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’, Amanda. Whatever you feel: if it’s good, then it’s wholly good.”

She closed her eyes again, letting his words sink down her throat.  There were hesitant valves down there, slamming shut until she coaxed them open and pushed the words past them, deeper still.  Somewhere, just below her solar plexus, they stopped and bloomed in her chest. “Jesus,” she muttered.

Robert gave a little laugh. “Are we done for now?” He stroked her cheek with his hand. “You did great. I felt it. Good girl.”

The cock in front of her was still slick with her saliva. Engorged and purpled. “No,” said Amanda. She felt a smile from a very new place stretch her lips. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to keep going.”

She tilted her head, and drew his hand back to her neck. “My mouth,” she said, licking the tip of his cock, “is yours. Please take it.”

He did. This time she didn’t gag, or tense, or panic.  She didn’t feel the need to fight him for breath.  She simply melted in the strange new sun of his praise.

And when he stilled, buried in her throat, and croaked: “Suck me. Now.” She did.

Because she was a good girl – a clever girl – and she knew exactly how to do that. His praise, in response, was a warm gush of pleasure that flooded her mouth and streamed down her throat.

Robert slumped to his knees on the floor in front of her.  She grinned.

“Jesus, Amanda.”

He pulled her against him and, with her hair still tangled in his fingers, tugged her into a long, languid kiss.

“So, next time I try to get three fingers inside you, you’re not going to fight me, right?”

“No,” she said, nestling into his arms, tucking her face into the crook of his neck. “It’s your cunt.”

“Yes. Yes it is. Mine.”

  75 comments for “Mine.

  1. Virginia
    April 24, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Loved it. Your writing has a texture, a feel to it that is just magic for me. The art work is just the perfect compliment.

    • April 24, 2012 at 5:23 pm

      Sadly, I nicked the artwork from a Tumblr site. hehe

  2. Val
    April 24, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    I came like Niagra falls. This is the essense of good literature whether people like to admit it or not. You are most definately one of my favourite authors. Thank you for sharing.

    • April 24, 2012 at 5:25 pm

      Well, I don’t actually set out to make people come, but I’m thrilled that you did. I do, however set out to produce a sort of thoughtful arousal. If I can get you there, then I’ve done my job.

      • Val
        April 24, 2012 at 9:21 pm

        Thoughtful arousal is exactly my kind of arousal 😉 I’m attracted to personal, transcending and transferable insight and its articulation, it’s in no way confined to erotica. Not that you care or anything :p but self discovery is sexy and in that regard, you’ve certainly done your job. 🙂

        • Val
          April 24, 2012 at 9:36 pm

          Your stories so very often resonate with me and speak to me LONG after I’ve actually read them. That’s how I’ll qualify them as good literature. They usually, genuinely, inform my everyday existance, identify with and are subsumed into the way I view the world and how I question it, which is a hallmark of successful writing as far as I’m concerned. I would actually be genuinely devastated should you ever choose to stop adding to this place permanently! :p Actually, on that note, do you have a blog for other writing, like sci-fi writings etc.?

          • April 24, 2012 at 9:39 pm

            I very rarely write anything without some explicit sex in it, so it’s pretty much all here.

        • April 24, 2012 at 9:37 pm

          I absolutely DO care, actually.

        • April 24, 2012 at 9:49 pm

          @Val — your experience sounds much like my own. “Good literature” and “successful writing”… you’ve said it as well as I might’ve done, so… I’ll just add my agreement to your expression.

      • April 24, 2012 at 9:44 pm

        “personal, transcending and transferable insight and its articulation”
        THIS. Exactly this, is why I keep coming back to read your work, RG. It’s a rare skill to express so concisely, so perfectly, so universally the things we know and feel as humans, and you keep doing just that.

        You’ve moved me on many occasions, and I’m realizing how seldom writing evokes a deep physical and emotional response at the same time I recognize that yours do so with regularity.

        Brava, and thank you!

        • April 24, 2012 at 9:46 pm

          You know, I happen to know that’s not true. I don’t actually appeal to people universally as a writer. It’s just that there are a small clutch of us freaks with, basically, the same cultural encyclopedia.

          • Spencer
            November 18, 2014 at 1:17 am

            sorry but I must disagree, here, you have an exceptional talent with words and your understanding of human nature is refreshingly insightful, and with so much garbage being published you would be gobbled up if you work gained the appropriate exposure, FSOG and its boring counterparts probably serve some Daily Mail readership with the necessary low level of expectation. which is as erotic as rice pudding.

        • April 24, 2012 at 9:50 pm

          Oh yeah.. I guess there is that, now isn’t there… Hah!

        • April 24, 2012 at 9:54 pm

          Then again — I think that the emotions and the <self-discovery to which you appeal, are indeed universal. Your writing itself certainly isn’t — but I’d bet there are some great HEA romance novel authors who appeal to other crowds and evoke those same things… likewise others still who write well and touch these same universal components of humanity in their own ways.

          Those of us with, as you say, this same cultural encyclopedia, turn to your work instead of someone else, that’s all.

        • Val
          April 24, 2012 at 10:09 pm

          Exactly, Sophia! 😀 RG, I think your writing’s more “universally appealing” than you’re acknowledging. Perhaps not always the subjects you’re detailing but the way you write about them has the power to bring many people who’re more ‘vanilla’ shall we say, into the fold, even if, strictly speaking, it’s outside of their cultural encyclopedia. I know that for a fact.

  3. Ellinoz
    April 24, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    You already know I think this is perfection – a wonderful, accomplished piece of writing that spoke to me in the best way but also wanted to say that I think the warmth of your self confessed “rare” happy ending feels just like a very right and natural conclusion here – lovely. Thanks RG 🙂

  4. April 24, 2012 at 7:34 pm

    The psychology of the D/s power exchange jumped off the page and became a living siren in my mind as I read this. You found the key to the locked closet of my understanding. This piece is profound in so many ways, I’m sure I’ll still be thinking of it years from now. I’ll thank you for that right now.

  5. April 24, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    Oh, yes … The depth of your homework certainly shows in this piece, RG. It’s written to perfection.
    And as @EdenConner above mentions, I think perhaps, you may possess the key to the general public’s understanding of a “true” D/s dynamic.
    Brava, woman … brava!

  6. April 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    I was about to comment that it’s been quite some time since I read any fiction that moved me to tears — and as I tried to remember the last piece before this with such power, I laughed.

    Amanda, Agnus Dei. Any relation? ~grin~

    Thank you, regardless, for the beautiful start to my morning… and a delightful reminder of the thrill I find in recognizing that I identify with either Amanda!

    • April 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm

      Damn, I run out of character names. Hahhaha

      • April 24, 2012 at 9:05 pm

        Ahh yes, the perennial problem of fiction writers… I look back at some of my earliest work and laugh at the horrible “Sci-fi Character Names” I used, thrown together from a reasonably-pronounceable grab of vowels and consonants. Not an ideal solution, really!

        Or perhaps the name “Amanda” just fit these particular stories?

        Loved the story, by any name.

  7. April 25, 2012 at 12:11 am

    I have nothing articulate and insightful to say, but this piece was powerful in a way that grabbed my gut and left me intensely aroused.

    In short: Yum.

  8. April 25, 2012 at 9:03 am

    Wow! LOVED this! It grabbed my attention right away and I was hooked. I want more.

    • April 26, 2012 at 9:55 am

      No, sorry. As of next week, I’m back to writing thoroughly depressing stuff. 😛

  9. April 25, 2012 at 9:05 am

    RG: This was a very satisfying story. I’ve been reading your stories for a number of years and it struck me that this story was really the culmination of much writing (academic and fiction writing) over the years; that you really have honed your craft to produce stories that speak to us and ring so true; that strike a very honest chord.

    I thought the conflict within her that he was able to express to her in a way that she finally understood was done perfectly. It’s such a central issue to us all – trust – that without it nothing much of value is achieved between two people – that I feel this story is for many more people than those with kinks – that it is a universal theme.

    The notion that you explored – that it is about him taking – that her body was his – is so key to power exchange that it will surely resonate with every one of us who read here.

    I can only hope that my stories develop and my abilities grow as have yours. Bravo.

  10. April 25, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    This is beautiful.

  11. April 26, 2012 at 4:20 am

    Oh, I just loved this. I know this is a definitive departure from your normal subject matter, but I think you tackled it with your characteristic attention to detail that reveals just how an interaction between a woman inexperienced with D/s could react to a Dominant.
    The transition from her resistance to surrender is delicious and his “Leave it” is a familiar “we don’t need to do this” sort of brush off that I’ve heard before from someone with a dominant bent.
    What I really love is the end. His slump, her triumph, his “Jesus, Amanda.” That I could totally identify with as real and true and honest. That a first success wouldn’t necessarily be all hard and sharp and vicious but sweet, triumphant and exultant.
    Really lovely, RG. Truly.
    ~Ais

  12. SL
    April 26, 2012 at 11:31 am

    Ah, just my favourite type of thing for you. Leaves me glassy-eyed (high) with that exquisite gut ache. Thank you RG, what a treat. 🙂

  13. April 26, 2012 at 9:34 pm

    Oh, superb. Anyone who reads Fifty Shades needs to come and read this; hot AND realistic. Why can’t writers do this more often?

  14. April 27, 2012 at 12:04 am

    I’m glad to hear it! Can we please celebrate that a little more?

  15. April 27, 2012 at 1:34 am

    I loved the dialogue in here, and I think you were successful in your goals for the piece: The actions of the characters were very tender, but the dynamic that they were working to build together was still very clearly D/s.
    Hell, I think I might have even just gained a new perspective on deep-throating.

  16. Anne
    June 30, 2012 at 12:58 am

    Unfortunately this, unlike most of your other stories, did the reverse of titillate me, it turned me off with a vengeance. It squicked me so sharply that I was gagging myself.

    Part of this may be my personal boredom with oral sex, part of it – probably the more important part – is my resentment of how much this act is lately expected of people, even of teens, and if they refuse they are often out of sexual partners, or get ordered to provide in what is as good as blackmail.

    As always the language is beautiful, but was not enough this time to overcome content.

    • June 30, 2012 at 7:08 am

      *snicker* Although I can’t say that it squicked me, I do have to agree with you about the ubiquity and expectedness of this particular sex act. It gets boring, doesn’t it?

      • Anne
        June 30, 2012 at 10:36 am

        Come to think of it, yes, I also think it is quite over-represented in fiction.

        What I initially meant was that I personally am very bored when on the receiving end myself, as oral sex does zilch for me. At best it’s sopoforic in a very literal sense, at worst it is irritating. That even though some of my lovers had a “claim to fame” in that department. As a giver I derive even less joy from it, it’s a chore instead.

        Foremostly though there is the fact that men and even teenage boys have come to take blowjobs so much for granted, that a woman or girl unwilling to provide them gets ditched or told that, as she doesn’t want to fellate, she can forget having vaginal sex or even the whole relationship. I’ve talked to teens tearing up in front of me due that, teens who on the turnaround performed blowjobs with their next boyfriends while loathing and hating every second of it. That’s mainly why this story squicks me.

        What is funny is that I love rape stories (and forcing oral sex on women is also rape of course) and go off like a rocket on them. One reason I love your writing. But with “normal” rape (did I bloody write such a thing? I hope everyone knows what I mean!) it is a universally agreed upon thing that it is rape, forbidden and ostracised by socitey, while oral sex hasn’t made it into the laws of either England or the United States until very recently and police, family and even prosecutors still treat it as nothing serious.

        It might be that which causes this strong reaction in me, paired with knowing how many women get raped that way through psychological manipulation and pressure and still face peers who laugh instead of help. In a way this, to me, feels as if I can’t lose myself in a fantasy. I guess if the story had been about anal or vaginal intercourse instead I’d have found it hot.

        • June 30, 2012 at 11:57 am

          You make a lot of very good points, and points I agree with wholeheartedly.

          Actually, one of the things that bugs me no end is the number of blow-jobs that are portrayed as being almost orgasmic for the women who are giving them. Admittedly, there have been a few times in my life where it has sincerely physically excited me to give one, but if I have to be honest, most of the time, it’s an act of sexual generosity. There is nothing wrong with this. Not every sexual act has to drive BOTH parties wild at the same time. But in fictionalized sex, it is almost always represented as an imperative.

          In porn, though, sucking cock has been mythologized in such a manner as to make you believe that women have clits in their mouths. And, as you say, men who get their sexual education from porn (most young men these days) assume that somehow every woman who isn’t clambering to fellate them must be frigid or a lesbian. So there isn’t just a pressure to DO it. There’s pressure to do it and act like you’re in the throws of sexual ecstasy WHILE doing it. In porn, women are supposed to be literally transported by the very prospect.

          For this reason, I think I find blow-jobs in the context of D/s more realistic. There is no expectation that the fellator is going to magically approach orgasm from the service. There is no pretense or expectation that the act is mutually physically stimulating.

          But ultimately, I think your main problem is not really with the act of a blow-job, but with a generation of people who have grown up with the notion that porn is documentary, informative of reality, and instructional. It has gone from being a fantasy masturbatory aide (for men) to setting the whole of the sexual agenda for everyone.

          Porn is effective and commercially lucrative because it feeds into a male desire to believe their cock is the most important single 6 inches of material on the planet. Why is that so gratifying? Why is the hyperbolizing and decontextualization of cock so persuasive? Well, you could validly argue that it speaks to a deep rooted (pardon the pun) insecurity and problematic relationship with one’s cock. But more importantly, it also breeds a reality gap that means many different commercial enterprises can earn a lot of money addressing that insecurity. It’s a great marketing plot. Make someone feel insecure about their organ, and then sell them a lot of different products to try and relieve it.

          Which is very much along the same lines of the very successful plot of making women feel fat, unattractive and old, and then sell them lots of things that will, supposedly, make them thinner, more attractive and younger.

          That’s why I think Vogue and Porn are pretty much the same thing.

          The sad truth is that I own a sex toy that outranks any cock I’ve ever had. There is no cock on earth that can compete with it. So …. you better have a personality.

          • Jo
            May 7, 2014 at 2:59 am

            //The sad truth is that I own a sex toy that outranks any cock I’ve ever had. There is no cock on earth that can compete with it. So …. you better have a personality.//

            HA!

  17. Megan
    July 2, 2012 at 5:46 am

    That was absolutely beautiful. I smiled so much while reading it, it was absolutely perfect and wonderful. This is everything I love about BDSM, that beautiful moment when you fully begin to trust someone is the most perfect thing about it to me.

  18. Waldo
    July 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm

    Your reply to Anne above (I guess I cannot reply to a reply’s reply?) was – wow – spot on. As a straight male (sorry for the lable) I seem to be in the male minority in assuming that giving head is a job. Because of this I have swayed away from them due to a overwhelming guilt complex. But of course my wife thinks it is here performance that is the issue, but how in my right mind can enjoy this if she is working like a banshee when I’m the one who should be doing the work? I’m a bit oldfashined I guess or maybe it is the massive voyeur in me who would rather see my “work’s reaction” than sit back and close my eyes.

    Also the notion that porn is viewed by the younger generation as a documentary is spot on has bothered me for years. BTW: will most likely steal your sentence while pissed at a pub.

    Regarding your erotica, very hot and informative. His not giving a shit about cumming hit a cord with me immediately. I read the story in his POV and since I am currently learning the ropes (pun intended), this helped me on another breakthrough.

    • Anne
      July 23, 2012 at 12:35 am

      Yes, this is precisely the problem for so many girls and women I talk to. Admitting that you get absolutely NO pleasure from a sexual act, that often it is the contrary of pleasure by being either a loathed activity or a job you are pretty much indifferent to is these days something few women dare.

      The pressure coming on to them from men who practically expect being rendered that service, who will move on to another sex partner (in non-committed relationships) stating that they want head and either give it or “hasta la vista, baby” and who consider a woman defective if they dislike giving head is unfortunately directly caused by porn, whether written or filmed.

      At the same time we still have a very, very low perception of forced or coerced oral sex being as much rape as penetration of other orifices.

      • Jim
        December 22, 2012 at 12:05 am

        Anne and Wlado:

        I find your perspectives a bit perplexing.

        Waldo, you say “I’m a bit oldfashined I guess or maybe it is the massive voyeur in me who would rather see my “work’s reaction” than sit back and close my eyes.” I take this to mean you prefer to see the reaction in your wife when having sex, no? That you enjoy seeing her pleasured by you? Wouldn’t that also possibly be her perspective when giving you pleasure?

        Anne, I get what you’re saying in general, but there seems to be a conflation of issues, “muddying the waters” so to speak. Fantasy, legalities, social norms. Yes, they’re all related inasmuch as they inform our own inner dialogue and conflicts, but it’s awful easy to judge what we feel, rather than simply accept our feelings. (Isn’t that one of the points in this story?)

        It seems pretty obvious the reasons that forced oral appears so much in fiction, and especially with d/s – physical positioning infers submission/deference, clear giver/receiver, control, power, infrequency, etc.

        Generally if something is ubiquitous in fiction, it’s likely not that common in real life, wouldn’t you agree? People tend to fantasize about what they *don’t* have, not what they *do* have. This would then seem to contradict the idea that oral sex is currently de rigueur, would it not?

        It’s disheartening to hear the girls/women you talk to take no pleasure from an act of giving pleasure to their partner. To me, that speaks of a deeper issue than the act itself. A lack of trust and lack of truly caring for your partner. Sounds like the relationships aren’t very deep or meaningful. If so, then who cares, it’s just a “hookup” then and “has no meaning”.

        And let’s be careful about extrapolating what occurs in the larger culture from what occurs in young adult relationships. Frankly I think we’re all mostly clueless before about 30 or so! LOL

        I do hope I’ve come across reasonably, without sounding critical. Please don’t think I’m criticising or condemning anyone…it’s all been very insightful. Thanks.

        RG…excellent writing. Thank you, and keep up the good work and the interesting discussions in the comments.

  19. July 22, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Admittedly I have not read every word of all the responses so I may be guilty of repetition.

    I wanted to briefly comment on the power of spoken words. You used ‘Good girl, clever girl’ and they sent the woman over the edge into a new realisation of her need for approval.

    In my experience this is so very common but equally unacknowledged. Your writing around this was spot on. They are particular words that appear to evoke a strong sexual response in many women of all ages.

    One tip I picked up from ‘research'(a porn star being interviewed) is that to inhale as the cock is inserted opens up the throat a little so that penetration is easier and less forced.

    P.S I enjoyed the story a great deal and loved the ending, perfect.

  20. Anne
    July 23, 2012 at 12:48 am

    @Remittance Girl – answering your last reply up there.

    I’m not so sure about your take regarding D/s and BJs. I read quite an amount of erotic literature and romance, in both hetero and homosexual context, and end up reading a lot of BDSM as well. I rarely find it being treated any differently there as compared to straight vanilla porn. Female or male submissives are expected and described, almost as a rule, as loving to give head and positively clamouring to be allowed to do so. It’s used as a reward in most stories, after the sub endured pain and humiliation at varying levels.

    As to cocks, I like them, a lot, but at different places than in my mouth. They do nothing there and I personally feel no pressure to oblige to also get oral sex, as I don’t like it anyway. I can edge a cock efficiently and to the point of sexually blissful melt-down of the man in question with my hands only *and* I have lots of fun doing so, for instance. So why cater to a cliché? What it does is completely detract from so many other oral and manual pleasures one can engage in that I lately started being mightily bored with a lot of erotica. It’s so always the same. 😉

  21. Ashes
    July 30, 2012 at 11:20 am

    I have read & strangely enjoyed the 50 shades of grey; not as deeply as others perhaps due to some of the unrealistic plot pieces & character twists.

    I enjoy your much more however & am thankful that I stumbled upon your site by sheer dumb luck one day.

  22. Ms F
    August 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Such beautiful writing. You truly captured a moment here, perfectly expressing the bond between dominant & submissive, the subtle ways in which she is possessed. Gorgeous!

  23. Forrest Franks
    September 2, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    I found it very arousing, although I personally never liked to push. I have liked when my partner would take it and drain me till I was shaking with exhaustion. I have had only one woman that actually liked doing that. And she was the only one that made me come. The rest I would tell them if you dont like it don’t do it. I on the other hand love giving a woman head. It feels so sensual and arousing. It feels so beautiful to move and caress a woman, become one with her body while I have her beautiful pussy in my mouth. Sadly I have never had another woman since the one that thoroughly enjoyed a man’s body as you described here. Damon, what I would give to find a woman like the “Quitter” that actually enjoyed returning the treatment. Great story 😉

  24. AllysonFaris
    September 14, 2012 at 4:50 am

    Lovely piece. I agree with you on 50 shades – a culmination of BDSM bleeding into romance imo. I have to disagree on the oral sex though – it can be erotic (speaking as a woman) to read and perform. As long as one don’t feel pressured to do it, I suppose or pressured to make a guy come from it. Perhaps as foreplay? Well, not a chore to me anyway.
    I have read your work over the years RG and you sell yourself short to say that you appeal to a small clutch of like-minded people. Your writing resonate emotionally because you do not make your characters act in ways contrary to their natures, even the unpalatable bits. Yet you manage to make them, not exactly likeable, but one can understand where they are coming from. (Or maybe it’s just because I’m one of your like-minded people? Ha ha.)
    That said, I would love to see you tackle a longer work and explore a character in greater depth.

  25. Jim-Ann
    October 5, 2012 at 11:30 am

    I love this one. It’s lovely to read D/s without the “trappings” (much as I love me some trappings) and bask in the pure dynamic that makes it so hot in the first place. You write that dynamic meltingly well, here as always. Thanks.

  26. October 12, 2012 at 5:46 pm

    Can you tell that I’ve just found you!Hard to say (Pun definitely intended) but I’m vey much ambivalent to BDSM, I’ll indulge on the borders but I do understand that in the ‘true’ relationship it’s all about trust and maybe that’s where i fall down.

    Your reply to Anne back on June 30 was spot on. Although at the same time as agreeing with you completely it brought a chuckle to my throat, (sucking cock has been mythologized in such a manner as to make you believe that women have clits in their mouths:That’d be Deep Throat a film which I’ve never actually seen and now I’m doubting the level of my education)you strike me as a very inteligent woman and I wonder do you have the same problem as me in trying to comprehend why the general population buys in wholesale to these pandered cliches.

    Personally I am a fan of oral sex in both directions (very difficult (pun avoided) to see a boy not being a fan and one assumes the reverse is really dependant on the provider), no idea really if I’m any good seeing as you all fake it which falls into the same category as 3% of men don’t masturbate, but I am enthusiastic, damn, I’m rambling (I tend to do that, maybe I should just c&p and put this on my blog), it is the idea of the deep throat! Never tried it oddly enough (see level of education?)but I can’t even manage a Brioche that’s less than five inches long (and I’m renowned for not having a gag reflex to speak of (whole ‘nother story))so I have always been astounded that outside of the Porn hyperbole that women don’t just gag but would/should follow the gag reaction. !!!

    As I said and Waldo quoted your material will be permeating through society

    Why is the hyperbolizing and decontextualization of cock so persuasive?— brilliant, who’d of thought you could decontextualize a cock. 🙂

    And possibly my favourite— That’s why I think Vogue and Porn are pretty much the same thing.

    That one’s going to get pleanty of use.

    Oh.. a very well written story all the same.

    FtF

  27. November 20, 2012 at 10:03 pm

    oh..i loved this

  28. December 1, 2012 at 8:33 am

    Such an interesting thought process, thank you for the glimmer of her.

  29. Anne
    December 22, 2012 at 11:37 am

    In answer to “Jim on December 22, 2012 at 12:05 am ”

    > but it’s awful easy to judge what we feel, rather than simply accept our feelings.

    That is precisely what I was saying. The feelings of women who dislike oral sex are not accepted at all these days. The pressure from males and peer pressure from female friends “to do the bit for him” is enormous.

    > Generally if something is ubiquitous in fiction, it’s likely not that common in real life, wouldn’t you agree?

    No I don’t agree. Statistics, both generalised and my own, state differently. BJs are these days more common than vaginal intercourse, 12 and 13 year old girls engage in it, and not necessarily because they want to. Oral sex is regarded almost as “second base” by now, as safer sex (which it isn’t) and as a means of contraception. It is being expected.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2008/05/oral_is_normal.html
    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/09/16/health/16iht-sex.html?_r=0

    This is dated a bit regarding the STD situation, but has a similar set of reactions to oral sex to what I meet with so often:

    http://www.brown.uk.com/brownlibrary/ORAL.htm

    > It’s disheartening to hear the girls/women you talk to take no pleasure from an act of giving pleasure to their partner.

    I beg your pardon ? Why should a girl or a woman take pleasure in or from a detested act which just happens to be hot for the recipient? Replace oral sex for instance with eating the crap of her partner (which also gives pleasure to a lot of very kinky people, but I’m not talking of those) and you get closer to my completely flabbergasted reaction here!

    So far, and I don’t think I will change my opinion in this regard, I was working under the premise that sex should be a mutually satisfying and pleasurable thing and that we all should get away from the notion of women having to sexually service men. Why should women play the Florence Nightingales of sex and “give pleasure” to men through something many find boring (at best) or downright unpleasant (at worst)?

    Having something inserted in one’s mouth which tastes from bland to vile, depending on personal hygiene and state of health and habits, and which in itself is no pleasant activity, is not high on the scale of enjoyment for so many women, even women forcing themselves to give BJs, that you’d be astonished. So why should they do that? There are enough alternatives, some of which are bound to be pleasant for both parties.

    > A lack of trust and lack of truly caring for your partner.

    What has trust to do with it? While I agree that, if one doesn’t find something entirely abhorrent, an occasional “treat” to a partner who also engages in occasional reverse treats is quite in order, that’s not what I was talking about.

    If the “treat” becomes something the partner expects as a regular service to him, rather in that very patriarchal manner you stated further above, then I begin to feel disquieted by such a mindset. The problem is that these days there’s a sense of entitlement to having BJs from your girlfriend, regardless of whether or not she wants to give them or likes giving them. Where, by the way, is that partner’s “true caring” when he more or less blackmails or even forces a sexual practice on his girlfriend that she dislikes?

    • December 22, 2012 at 5:30 pm

      I’d like to step in and perhaps take the subject to a more generalized place. This shouldn’t be a debate about whether oral sex is good or bad. There is no bad sex that is consensual. I would also like to state that sex is not always about what is physically instant pleasure to both participants. It is about give and take. However, what I was trying to get at here was media misrepresentations of sex. And these are as damaging to women (portrayed as being physically stimulated by giving oral sex to men) as they are to men (portrayed as being able to get it up on a dime, fuck for an hour, ejaculate and then get instantly hard again). All these misrepresentations do us, as humans, a disservice. They set us up for both disappointment and for self-doubt. Sex should be a place where you can lose yourself, not where you are constantly self-evaluating, comparing yourself to some manufactured, edited, groomed and processed version of a sexual being.

  30. Sarah
    January 3, 2013 at 12:38 am

    I adore this!

  31. John
    December 30, 2013 at 8:48 pm

    This is lustful and plots a dilemma we all face…..intimacy. Oral sex as depicted in this tale shows insight. Trust…what would we without it? Stale old sex, stale old relationships….might as well be dead!
    Hey! Oral sex isn’t new. But it should be appreciated as part of our sexuality and I liked the characters in this snapshot of our humanness!

  32. Felicia
    March 5, 2014 at 2:45 am

    My husband came across this and sent it my way. After 15 years together and 10 years of marriage we have found a way to make our sexual connection become like new again and be a part of almost everything in our lives together. I love reading (which is a new hobby for me). If my free time is not spent with my mind in a story I start to lose feeling for life. I can’t explain it but I very much enjoy this new “disease” and it has opened my mind to see what my life really has to offer me. I can’t wait to read everything here!!! In this little story I love the way he is dominate yet human and caring. And it may have just taught me a little something 😉

  33. Rl
    March 7, 2014 at 8:32 am

    Remittance girl, are you actually a girl?

    • March 7, 2014 at 8:58 am

      No. I’m definitely not a ‘girl’ anymore. I’m a woman.

  34. Dara
    April 1, 2014 at 4:06 am

    This was absolutely beautiful(:

  35. Jo
    May 7, 2014 at 2:21 am

    Oh my goodness, I was captivated from the beginning. It started with a familiar image and then something very new was added. Your stuff has been my first try at reading erotic fiction and your writing is BEAUTIFUL.

  36. anastaria
    June 30, 2014 at 1:08 am

    that was great, I never read 50 shades but ive heard a lot about it. U definately understand a blowjob, what women want, how to deliver that, and make him dominant enough without going too far for such a scene. all bases covered. much respect! made me want to suck dick

  37. Susan
    July 2, 2014 at 9:45 am

    Call me a lazy fucker, if you like. I usually can’t be bothered giving my man a head job, much less a blow job. Hardly anything in it for me except a kinked neck and/or a tender teeth imprints on the inside of my mouth. And that gagging reflex to cum? Arghh and ick in one. Now this does alter considerably if I’m truly horny, then the act becomes a pleasure. Trouble is, this is his idea of getting horny, not mine.
    Thank you for writing ‘Mine’. I shall consider the (BJ) act from a different perspective in future. Who knows? I might yet come to enjoy it unconditionally. No pun intended.

  38. happyforit
    July 8, 2014 at 12:13 am

    Your words are so vivid that I can picture myself in place of the woman in your story. Thank you.

  39. Spencer
    November 17, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    This is so beautifully written, in so many ways, the words are perfection in timing, in the recognizable truth of it , the reality that quite takes the breath away. it is never the orgasm it is the journey. the need to possess or give and the intimacy that results. your understanding of human nature is in itself a powerful turn on. Thank you.

  40. vb
    November 29, 2014 at 1:44 am

    AHHHHHHHHH so hot. i could not resist the urge to get off to this story

  41. Beth
    November 10, 2015 at 5:55 pm

    Very sexy and empowering interaction for both him and her. I plan to have my man read this, can’t imagine he will object. Thanks!

  42. Angela
    December 10, 2015 at 2:02 am

    I just found your site, this is the first I’ve read so far. I wish I had known at that young age what I know now about “taking”

    Your story has me inspired to go visit a certain someone who’s working alone building a house right now.

    Mostly, I’ve been feeling shameful for the seemingly meaningless sex I’ve started having with this man. I’m recently divorced. I need this like I need air. Thank you for reminding me what I can have, whenever I want, as long as I stop feeling guilty for it and just enjoy it and stop ruining it.

    I was put off by this man being a taker. I think I wanted his respect as a friend and was put off by the lack of respect he shows when we are fucking. It’s so opposite his otherwise sweet, boyish personality. But why not? I don’t need anything from him but my own pleasure, were not relationship material, he and i. Anyhow….

    Your story got me all hot to go surprise him with a little “please fuck my head against this wall”. And not overthink it.

  43. BL
    February 25, 2016 at 10:53 am

    I am so taken in by the care i feel from reading this. Truly i am amazed by ur knack for writing this scene so so perfectly. I don’t even feel the sexual tension just the feeling of care and tears as i got closer to the end. I am very moved. Its not like i have not read so many D/s stories before, this one is not just erotica to me. Thank you.

    • February 26, 2016 at 5:31 pm

      Ah…. not ‘just’ erotica. Whereas, I think erotica should always be this, and more than this. Otherwise it’s porn – which is fine, but porn is a tool with a goal.

  44. Dedric
    February 25, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    That was a great story, the trust factor was a given, the way he convinced her to trust him with her mouth the way he talked to her was showed so much dominance yet he was gentile with her the way you used your words really touched my soul and also my submissive loved it how you wrote it, it reminded her how I talk to her and gained her trust. Great story I must say great story

  45. Dedric
    February 25, 2016 at 4:44 pm

    That was a great story, the trust factor was a given, the way he convinced her to trust him with her mouth was inspiring , the way he talked to her was showed so much dominance yet he was gentile with her the way you used your words really touched my soul and also my submissive loved it how you wrote it, it reminded her how I talk to her and gained her trust. Great story I must say great story

    • February 26, 2016 at 5:29 pm

      Thanks for taking the time to read it and for your comment.

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