I decided to try my own challenge. It wasn’t easy! Especially the vanilla one.
Take one: a la vanille
I walked into the bedroom, pink from my evening shower, to find Robert naked and taking up most of the bed. He sat propped up against a wealth of pillows, reading a paperback. His long legs sprawled over the real estate, burnished skin stark against the white sheets.
“Whatcha reading?” I asked, perching myself on the end of the bed. I poured a generous puddle of almond oil into my hand and began to moisturize my legs.
“This is terrible,” he said, not looking up. “The characters are totally unbelievable. And the plotting. Jesus!”
“What’s it called?”
“I got if off your desk. Fifty shades of… something.” He sniffed the air and looked up. “I smell… almonds. Almonds?”
“Mhm.” I was attending to my shins. Otherwise, they get like parchment. “It’s supposed to be sexy. Everyone’s raving about it.”
“I think the author’s a virgin.” Robert grunted and threw the book aside. It skidded to a noisy stop on the wood floor, just by the wall. “Can I tempt you to get a little closer?”
I looked up at him, then. His peacefully slumbering cock was slumbering no more. “My hands are all oily.” Smirking, I held them up, fingers splayed.
Robert’s mouth twitched into a crooked smile. “I know.”
I shuffled up for the bottom of the bed, between his stretched out legs, on my knees, brandishing my glistening hands. “These hands are lethal weapons. I want you to know.”
With one oily finger, I traced a shiny path down the underside of his engorged cock.
“Lethal?”
“Mmm… Lethal,” I purred as I curled my fingers and slid both hands down the entire shaft. Then up again, stroking him slowly, measuring the tease, letting my fingers hitch and slide over the flare of his cockhead.
A low, pleasured groan erupted from the depth of his throat. “You’re really very good at that.”
“Years of experience.”
His brows knit together. “We could fuck, you know.”
And we could have, but there was something about the sweet smell of the oil on the hot skin of his cock, and the hypnotic rhythm of my hands. I didn’t want to stop. “Maybe not,” I whispered and tightened my grip.
That’s when his hips began to rock. There was nothing in the world more erotic than watching the muscles of his stomach ripple as he arches. I noticed his hands, fisted in the sheets and then gazed up into his face.
“I like watching you like this. Is it good?”
“Fuck. Yes. It’s. Good.” The plump words tumbled out like single things.
Then nothing but the sound of his ragged breathing and the wet, slick sound of skin against skin, growing in volume as I stroked him faster. The sucking, kissing, licking sounds buried themselves in my cunt.
His body stiffened, his back bowed and his eyes flew to the ceiling.
“Jesus Christ,” he gasped.
Warm spurts of semen spattered my arms and my thighs, then dribbled, honey-like over my slowing hands.
I lowered my head, parted my lips, and trapped the last weak eruption in my mouth.
Take Two: au chocolate
I walked into the bedroom, pink from my evening shower, to find Robert naked and taking up most of the bed. He sat propped up against a wealth of pillows, reading a paperback. His long legs sprawled over the real estate, burnished skin stark against the white sheets.
“Whatcha reading?” I asked, perching myself on the end of the bed. I poured a generous puddle of almond oil into my hand and began to moisturize my legs.
“This is terrible,” he said, not looking up. “The characters are totally unbelievable. And the plotting. Jesus! This woman wouldn’t know BDSM if it fucked her from behind with a ball gag on.”
“What’s it called?”
“I got if off your desk. Fifty shades of… something.” He sniffed the air and looked up. “I smell… almonds. Almonds?”
“Mhm.” I was attending to my shins. Otherwise, they get like parchment. “It’s supposed to be sexy. Everyone’s raving about it.”
“I think the author’s a virgin.” Robert grunted and threw the book aside. It skidded to a noisy stop on the wood floor, just by the wall. “Come over here, pet.”
I looked up at him, then. His peacefully slumbering cock was slumbering no more. “My hands are all oily.” Smirking, I held them up, fingers splayed.
Robert’s mouth twitched into a crooked smile. “Exactly.”
I shuffled up for the bottom of the bed, between his stretched out legs, on my knees, offering up my glistening hands. “Would I be wrong in thinking that I know what you’d like me to do with these?”
With one oily finger, I traced a shiny path down the underside of his engorged cock.
“You wouldn’t be wrong.”
I purred as I curled my fingers and slid both hands down the entire shaft. Then up again, stroking him slowly, measuring the pace, letting my fingers hitch and slide over the flare of his cockhead.
A low, pleasured groan erupted from the depth of his throat. “You’ve gotten very good at this.”
“I’ve had an excellent teacher.”
His eyebrow arched. “I could take you, you know.”
And he could have, but there was something about the sweet smell of the oil on the hot skin of his cock, and the hypnotic rhythm of my hands. I didn’t really want to stop. “I’m yours for the taking,” I whispered and tightened my grip.
That’s when his hips began to rock. There was nothing in the world more erotic than giving this man pleasure. Watching the muscles of his stomach ripple as he arched. His hand curled firmly around mine, controlling the rate of his pleasure.
” You’re such a good girl.”
“I do my very best, Sir.”
Then nothing but the sound of his ragged breathing and the wet, slick sound of skin against skin, growing in volume as he guided my pace. The sucking, kissing, licking sounds buried themselves in my cunt. The grip of his hand around mine, and the arousal in his eyes almost tipped me over.
His body stiffened, his back bowed and, with almost lightening speed, he fisted his free hand in my hair and pulled me down.
“Swallow every drop, slut,” he demanded.
My lips closed around the flared, burning head just in time to capture the first thick jet of come. I sucked greedily, gratefully, as he held the back of my head and thrust upward, bruising my lips. He forced his way into my throat and erupted a second time, feeding me his lust.
Then the grip gentled. He stroked my hair, brushing it away from my face to watch my lap up the last of his semen.
“Good pet. Beautiful pet,” he whispered.
Definitely a winner!
No, I really don’t think so. The first still has a lot of power dynamics in it (subtle, but there, on her side). The second… meh, I could have done a better job in retrospect.
Fast writing exercises are always ‘I coulda done better’ territory. However, a) realizing that, and exactly how you could ahved done better means the exercise was successful, and b) I believe the point that even this speed writing is better than what is being offered in the mainstream by the fifty shades example is still amply made.
Beautiful. What I really like about this challenge – and particularly your own take on it – is that it forces you to take very simple ideas and tweak them in really minute ways… As it turns out it doesn’t take much to make something vanilla kinky; but the little it does take makes all the difference. I’m going to try for this challenge over the next few days; time permitting.
“On second thought…” Yes, au chocolate is imo better. More personal… intimate, it grew in the second telling. If this is the same couple from “Mine” I heard an implied continuity and I like that. Thanks again, RG.
Funnily enough I preferred the vanilla one more. Still both great reads but the chocolate one just felt off to me somehow.
Vanilla and Chocolate:
“I shuffled up for the bottom of the bed, between his stretched out legs, on my knees, offering up my glistening hands. “Would I be wrong in thinking that I know what you’d like me to do with these?”” — for or from?
Vanilla:
“There was nothing in the world more erotic than watching the muscles of his stomach ripple as he arches.”
arched? to fit the past tense theme?
Chocolate:
“to watch my lap up the last of his semen.” — me or my?
I agree with Ashes, though I can’t say what’s bothering me. And thanks for pointing out the power dynamic in Vanilla, I enjoyed thinking about that.